


Dark Paradise

by insertcoolname13



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Conflicted Kylo Ren, Crying, Dark Rey (Star Wars), Emperor Kylo Ren, Empress Rey, F/M, Family, Force Ghost Leia Organa, Force Ghost Luke Skywalker, Force-Sensitive Finn (Star Wars), Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Manipulation, Minor Poe Dameron/Finn, Parenthood, Pining, Possession, Power Couple, Pregnancy, Redemption?, Reylo babies, Sith Throne, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, everyone cries, so much crying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:21:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 26,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21984352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insertcoolname13/pseuds/insertcoolname13
Summary: Rey took the throne from Palpatine, married Kylo Ren and founded a new dynasty. Only one thing stands between the royal couple and total galactic domination: The Resistance, namely, General Finn Dameron.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 235
Kudos: 449





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So TROS broke me and I'm writing to aid my recovery. This is a fairly dark fic but I'm planning on writing some fluff soon too. Reylo forever!

This throne really isn’t big enough for two people, Rey thought as she shifted uncomfortably. The throne of the Sith was grand, imposing, ancient. A status symbol. A show of power. A worthy seat for an all powerful empress. Comfortable, however, it was not. 

Rey usually sat here alone, of course. For all his bloodlust and hunger for power, Kylo Ren hated the day to day tasks that came with ruling their empire and he couldn’t stand all the pageantry required of a royal couple. Kylo preferred to spend his time hunting artifacts with his knights or locked in his study, translating ancient Sith texts. So Rey sat atop the throne by herself, meeting with allies, hearing pleas for mercy, planning strikes against the last remnants of the Resistance. Better that way, she often thought. Let him handle the spiritual side of things. I’ll handle the political. We truly are a perfect balance. A match in every way.

Today was different though. Today was a special day. Her husband sat beside her, crammed close on the stone seat. Waiting. Final Order officers were beginning to gather in the throne room below them, excitement plain on their faces. It wasn’t often that they got to witness the execution of such a high status prisoner. Rey turned Kylo and smiled. “It’s nice to have you beside me for a change,” she whispered. 

Kylo gave a small snort in response. “Don’t get used to it. I plan on leaving for Mustafar as soon as we are done.” 

Rey gently pressed her thigh to his, glancing over at him suggestively. “Are you sure I can’t convince you to stay?” she whispered. “I can make it well worth your while. The dagger, helmet, or whatever you're looking for isn’t going anywhere. Go another time.” She placed her hand gently on his upper thigh, making her carnal desires clear. 

“Begging becomes you, Empress Palpatine.” Kylo smiled in that way that made Rey’s heart melt. “I’ll have you doing more of that tonight,” he hissed seductively in her ear. “Maybe I’ll fuck you on this throne. Would you like that?” 

“I would,” Rey sighed in response. She giggled. “You know, you're the only one allowed to give me orders.”

“Only in bed,” Kylo whispered. “As it should be. This is your throne we sit on. I’m your consort, not the other way around.” He looked at his wife with pride. “My beautiful, powerful Empress Palpatine.” 

“It’s our throne,” Rey insisted. “Our empire. I wouldn’t want any of this if I didn’t have you beside me.” She shifted herself on the seat again, seeking comfort on the cold stone.

“Are you feeling alright?” Kylo asked. “You seem restless.” 

“Just uncomfortable,” she replied with a sigh. “This throne doesn't have much back support.” 

“Can I do anything?” her husband asked. 

Rey gave a small smile. “Go back seven months and stop yourself from getting me pregnant,” she joked, taking his hand and placing it on the bump where their baby grew. “Our little princess. She’s moving a lot today. Makes it hard to sit still.”

“She must be excited,” Kylo said, feeling the small kicks. “We all are.” 

Rey thought for a moment. “Do you think the children should be here for this?” she asked. “The Final Order will belong to them someday, they should know how it all works. How we keep this galaxy safe.”

“They're still so young,” Kylo argued. “Let them stay children a little while longer.” 

“You coddle them,” Rey teased with a grin. “They are going to grow up soft.” But she couldn’t even pretend to be mad. She loved how much Kylo loved their babies, how good he was with them. The best father anyone could ask for. She loved them too, her little Padme and Jacen, as well as the daughter still in her womb. She wanted to give them everything she never had as a child. Real security, affection. A loving family. “Fine, they’ll stay in the nursery.” 

“Thank you,” Kylo said, bringing Rey’s hand up to his lips. She leaned her head on his shoulder sighing. 

“I wonder what’s taking so long,” she wondered aloud. “I thought we’d be done by now.” 

“What’s taking so long?” Kylo barked to a nearby adviser, Commander Rayne. “I thought we’d have seen traitor blood spilled by now.” Rey stifled a laugh. Her husband was never one for tact. 

“Um, well,” the commander stammered. He clearly didn’t like having the full attention of the emperor. “Your highness, there seems to be a small problem with the prisoner.”

Kylo’s eyes burned with rage, though he kept his composure. “Oh really?” He stood up, stepping down from the dais of the throne. He walked slowly up to the other man, dwarfing him with his great height. “What may I ask is the trouble?”

“You see, my emperor, um..well.” The commander was visibly terrified. Rey held her breathe, the news couldn’t be good and so much was riding on this day. The prisoner had to be executed, the Resistance had to be stopped. 

Commander Rayne cleared his throat and began again. “The prisoner, General Finn Dameron of the Resistance, has escaped.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo and Rey discuss their next move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short little chapter, the next one should be a little longer. I'm having a lot of fun writing this fic so far, hopefully you guys are enjoying it too!

“He made us look like fucking fools,” Rey fumed as she paced the floor of their bedroom that night, the gown she wore for sleeping trailing after her. “In front of our entire command, all our guests.” She raked her fingers through her hair. “We look incompetent, we can’t even handle a simple execution.” Rey reached for the mirror sitting on her bedside table and threw it against the wall. Shards of glass flew through the air and settled on the floor. 

Kylo Ren sat on their bed, watching his wife’s tantrum. “Quiet,” he said with mild annoyance. “You’ll wake the kids.” The palace on Exogol was enormous but the royal apartments themselves were quite small, cozy even. The children’s room was right next door. 

Rey lowered her voice. “This could be a disaster. If we don’t get him back, this could be the end for us. All we’ve built could be destroyed.”

“It’ll be alright, sweetheart,” he assured her calmly. “The knights will get him back. They've already left to hunt him down.”

“No,” Rey snapped. “No, I don’t trust them with this. I don’t trust anyone but us.” She flopped on the bed beside her husband. She stared up at the ceiling, thinking. “They let him escape once before. Clearly, the bastard is stronger in the Force than we thought. Our reputation can’t handle another slip up.” Kylo nodded in agreement. They both knew how important image was to their reign. Any show of weakness could be detrimental, could be exploited by the Resistance. 

“Fine,” Kylo agreed reluctantly, reaching over to squeeze Rey’s hand. “I’ll go after him.” 

“No,” Rey said again. “I will.” 

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Kylo asked. “I mean...” his voice trailed off.

“I’m pregnant?” Rey snapped, sitting up. “Yes, I am pregnant. I’m not incapable.” 

“I wasn’t saying that,” Kylo insisted. “I just thought that now might not be the best time for you to go off on a mission like this. We need you here, to keep things together.” Kylo sighed. He turned to his wife, taking both of her hands in his. “And I’m sorry, Rey. I know you don’t like to hear this but yes, you are pregnant. It might make things harder. I’m sorry but that’s just the way it is. And we can’t handle another mistake. We’re a team. I can go, I can take care of it.”

“You're right, darling,” Rey conceded. “But I just...I have a feeling that I’m supposed to do this. It has to be me. I need to confront him.” She leaned forward, pressing her forehead to Kylo’s. “He’s my past. And the past needs to die if we are ever going to be free.” 

“Let the past die,” Kylo agreed. It was their mantra. “Who am I to question the will of the Force? It brought us together, after all.”

“We would have always found each other,” Rey whispered with a smile. “In any form, in any life.” She leaned in and kissed her husband. “You're my destiny,” she purred. Kylo leaned in, deepening the kiss. He pulled Rey into his lap.

“You’ve always been mine,” he growled devilishly. “Even back when you tried to deny it.” He rolled Rey onto her back, lowering himself on top of her. He took hold of both her hands in one of his, pinning them over her head. “You won’t deny me now, will you?” he asked quietly, kissing her neck. “You beg me to touch you.”

Rey obliged, eagerly. “Please touch me, Kylo. I need you. I need you inside me, now. I need your cock.” 

However, before her wish could be granted, there was a soft knock on the door. “Mommy?” a little voice called out. “Daddy?”

Kylo practically jumped off Rey, moving to sit beside her on the bed. “Padme?” he called as Rey quickly straightened her clothes. “Come on in, baby.”

A little barefooted girl clad in a white nightgown came running into the room. She jumped into her mother’s lap, burying her face in the crook of her neck. Rey wrapped her arms around her daughter, pulling her into a hug and rocking her gently.

“What’s wrong, Padme?” Kylo asked. He reached out to stoke his daughter’s dark curls. 

“Bad dreams,” the little girl whimpered. “Bad dreams. There were shadows everywhere. It was so cold. And there were voices. Scary voices.”

“Shhhhh,” Rey soothed. “It was just a dream. Everything is alright.” However, she looked over her daughter’s head at her husband, concern in her eyes. His face reflected her fears. They both knew that dreams weren’t always dreams at all.

Kylo took Padme out of his wife’s lap and settled her in his own. “You know something, Padme,” he said. “You have nothing to worry about. Your mother and I are here and we’d never let anything hurt you.”

Rey nodded. “He’s right.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey leaves to hunt down General Finn, Kylo has a bad feeling about this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was going to be super long but I ended up cutting it in half, Kylo focused chapter with some juicy flashbacks coming soon!

Kylo went to the hangar to see Rey off the next morning. Jacen tagged along, holding tightly to his father’s hand as he followed his parents through the chaotic crowd of stormtroopers, pilots, and support crew. Padme was still asleep upstairs in her parent’s bed, exhausted after her long night. Kylo had wanted to wake her so she could say goodbye but Rey had told him not to. “Let her sleep,” she’d said. “I’ll be back in a couple of days. She won’t even have time to miss me.”

Rey glanced back to look at her son, grinning despite her desire to appear regal and aloof. The little boy had brought along his favorite toy, the model TIE silencer he’d received for his last birthday, and was pretending to fly it with his free hand. A group of trainee pilots walked by, a couple of them smiled down at the toddler. Jacen dropped his toy to hide his face behind his hand. Unlike his loud, outgoing sister, he was shy and disliked attention. Kylo had told her he was the same way at that age. “You still are,” she’d teased. “You just hide it better.”  
Kylo bent down to pick up the ship. “Here you go, J,” he said, holding the toy out to his son. Jacen snatched it back from his father, flashing him a dimpled smile. He trotted off ahead of his parents, running toward his mother’s waiting ship. Rey didn’t know how they’d gotten so lucky with their children, they couldn’t have been any more perfect. “How could they not be?” Kylo said, reading her mind. He put his arm around her as they walked. “They have you for a mother.” 

“I’m a little nervous,” Rey admitted, her voice barely a whisper. “I’ve never faced a test like this. He used to be so important to me.” 

“Maybe you shouldn’t go,” Kylo blurted out. 

“Not go?” Rey was confused. “What do you mean? This needs to be done, we agreed on this. The force wills it.” 

Kylo sighed. “I don’t know, Rey. Maybe we should let him go. He’s just one man. Why put yourself at risk? We’ll crush the Resistance, him along with it.” They stopped in front of the ship Rey planned to take on her mission, a simple, discreet TIE fighter. Kylo reached over and took Rey’s hand. “Please, just stay,” he whispered “I need you here.” 

“I can’t, Kylo,” Rey insisted. “I have to do this. I have to kill the past.”

Kylo shook his head in defeat. “Whoever told you that is an idiot.” 

Rey leaned in and kissed her husband deeply. “I’ll be home soon,” she said, trying to keep her voice calm. “Keep things running until then.” Jacen came running over and latched onto Rey’s leg. She leaned down and scooped him into her arms, plating a kiss on his forehead. “And make sure you keep the kids alive,” she added. 

“I’m not used to watching you leave,” Kylo said. “Its usually me.”

“Well, I can’t let you have all the fun,” Rey replied with a wink. She set Jacen down and embraced her husband again. “I’ll be fine,” she insisted, still sensing his worry. 

“Please, both of you just come back to me,” Kylo said earnestly, placing his hand gently on her bump. “Promise me you’ll be safe. Don’t take too many risks, it’s not worth it.”

Rey took a deep breath, steadying herself. “I’ll be fine, Kylo.” She smiled at Jacen, who waved up at her.  
“Bye bye, Mama,” he said in his soft, sweet little voice.

“Bye, J,” she said, leaning down to give him another hug. “Be good for Daddy.” She turned to board her ship, climbing up into the cockpit. Kylo watched her go, obviously still worried. For the briefest moment, Rey stopped. Maybe Kylo was right. What if this was a mistake? Was she putting herself and her daughter at risk for nothing? She nearly stood up, ready to climb back down to her husband and son. But no, she couldn’t do that. The Force wanted her to go, she could feel it. It was calling her. She’d never been so sure of anything. Well, not since the day she’d married Kylo Ren. She waved at her family again. “I’ll come back, sweetheart,” she called to her husband. “I promise.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How did we get here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kylo's first chapter! I really love this guy, writing helps soothe my soul.

Kylo dropped Jacen off with Kora, the nanny, before shutting himself in his study. He knew he shouldn't be locking himself away like that, he had a million things to do with Rey gone. He needed to get the morning reports from their generals, attend budgetary meetings, review the plans for new weapons. He was supposed to meet with some of their top engineers to discuss mineral drilling. These duties were all vital to the running of their empire and yet they all seemed so...wrong. If he was being honest, it all did. It had for a long time. Not being with Rey, of course. He knew that was meant to be. And not his children either, they were the lights of his life. The best thing he’d ever done. But everything else, the Final Order, the darkness. The power. Deep down, he knew it wasn’t right. 

Kylo been back to the light, had become Ben Solo again, briefly. He’d come to Exegol with the best of intentions, to save Rey from Palpatine. But he had been too late, he’d come running into the throne room just in time to see her strike down her grandfather. She’d looked at him with eyes that weren’t her own, bright yellow instead of the gentle hazel he so loved. She stood differently than before, her posture too stiff. The darkness had her. He’d been afraid, terrified even, but he couldn't bring himself to run. He could never leave her. “Rey?” he’d called gently. “Rey?”

She’d turned to look at him, holding up a hand to silence the crowd of dark acolytes that had gathered to witness the ritual. “Leave us,” she’d called out. They all obeyed immediately. She’d walked over to Kylo, slowly. “Kylo Ren,” she’d said quietly, in a strange voice. He’d reached out to take her hand, the way he had on Ahch-To so long ago. He gently kissed her fingers before moving her hand to cover his heart. Suddenly, Rey’s eyes were their natural color again. Her rigid body relaxed. She seemed to be coming out of a trance as her grandfather's spirit left her body. She threw her arms around Kylo, pulling him into a tight embrace. “I killed him,” she’d whispered against his shoulder. “The Final Order is mine. Ours, if you’ll join me.” 

Kylo had been confused. “You want the dark throne? His spirit left you, Rey. I saw it.” Rey looked up at him, the lust plain in her eyes. 

“My grandfather’s spirit is gone. But the darkness remains. You were right all along, Kylo. The dark side is in our blood. We were meant for the throne. We were meant to rule together. Join me.” She leaned in, kissing him gently. Their first kiss. “Our love, our passion will keep him out,” she promised when they broke apart. “It’ll just be us.”

It was everything Kylo had ever wanted, it was all being offered to him. Power. Glory. Rey. Especially Rey. And without Rey, what reason did he have to live? He couldn’t lose her, even if it meant losing himself again. She was the only real love he’d ever known, the only connection he’d ever had. What did he owe the light side anyway? The Jedi had never cared for him. His family had never cared for him. There was only Rey. His choice was clear. “Yes,” he’d whispered. “Yes.”

He’d had her for the first time right there, up against the throne of the Sith. Their bond sang. Rey raked her finger nails down his back, leaving marks, crying out his name over and over again. Calling him her emperor. Begging him to fuck her harder, to make up for lost time. This was right. They were always supposed to be one. They’d finished together, loudly, and put their clothes to rights. Rey’d taken him by the hand. “Come on, sweetheart,” she’d said with a smile. “We have a fleet to command.” 

They’d spent their first night together aboard their main star destroyer, after the battle was won and the Resistance scattered. The bond hummed as he was inside her again, making love to her gently this time. “I love you,” he murmured for the first time, once they were both spent.

“I love you too,” Rey said back immediately. “I can’t do this without you. I need to know you’re by my side.”

Kylo thought back to all the nights he’d spent alone, longing for something though he hadn’t known what. Purpose. A reason to live. Something real to fight for. The answer was right there in front of him. Rey. “I’m not going anywhere without you,” he vowed. “I’ll be by your side, always.” Rey had sat up suddenly, her eyes going wide.

“Kylo!” she cried. “Do you sense it?” she took his hand, placing it on her lower abdomen.

He’d been confused and then he felt it too. A new life force, small and delicate but there just the same. A huge smile spread across his face. “I can’t believe it,” he’d said dumbly.

“I didn’t think it would happen so fast,” Rey had laughed. “Are you happy?” Kylo had grabbed her in a massive hug, planting kisses all over her face, then bending down to give one to their baby, the tiny life force that would eventually grow into Padme. 

“Of course,” he told her. “The happiest I’ve ever been.” 

And he was, that night he had been happy, thrilled to finally be able to hold Rey in his arms. Deliriously happy to find out that he was going to be a father. But everything else? That he tried to ignore. But his eyes had been opened by the light. And he found it almost impossible to shut them again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo receives a warning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a tough one to write! I hope everyone is enjoying the story. Another Rey chapter coming up soon. I wrote this instead of sleeping.

He dreams, though he doesn't remember falling asleep. It’s dark, quiet. He wades through warm water, still water. There was a slight breeze and the air smelled sweet, pure. Suddenly, voices began to echo around the chamber. “Ben,” they all whispered. “Ben.” They got louder and louder, assaulting him. He ran, splashing loudly, though he knew he couldn’t escape.

“Stop!” he ordered. “I’m the Emperor of the Final Order, I’ll have your head for this!” 

“Ben,” the voices continued, unaffected by his threats. “Ben.”

“That’s not me!” Kylo yelled, looking around frantically for the source of the sound. “Ben Solo is dead.”

“Ben,” the voices insisted. “Ben Solo.”

Kylo clamped his hands over his ears, hoping to block out the sound. “No!” he cried. “No!” He tried to run again, slipping and falling instead. Instead of landing in the water, he found himself in a different place entirely. It was a room, a strange, cold room. The walls and ceiling were lined with mirrors. Kylo looked around and saw his face reflected back, hundreds and hundreds of times. Then, the faces changed. Now he saw Luke Skykwalker starring back at him. “Ben,” Luke said in that quiet, frustrating way of his. “You’ve forgotten yourself again.”

Kylo felt his anger flare up immediately. “Shut up!” he barked. “You don’t know who I am.”

Luke was calm. “You came back to us, once. But you’ve let the darkness take you again.” The Jedi looked unbearably sad. “You were supposed to lead her back. Instead, you let her lead you astray. You’re lost to us once again.”

The words cut to Kylo’s core, though he wouldn’t admit it. Hadn’t he just been having doubts? No, he couldn't second guess his choices now. It was too late. “Go away!” he screamed. “You don’t know anything about us!”

“We love you, Ben,” Luke whispered. “We never stopped.” Then he vanished, being replaced by a different image. One that made Kylo sick to his stomach. 

“Ben,” his mother said sadly. “My son. I gave my life to bring you back.”

“The darkness is in my blood,” Kylo insisted. “You always knew that. That’s why you were so afraid of me. I belong there.” 

“And what about my grandchildren?” Leia asked. “Do they belong on the dark side?” She looked into his eyes, unflinching. “Will you watch them destroy themselves for power? Will you let them kill each other for the throne?”

Kylo was taken aback. She couldn’t mean his children. His children were happy. They’d never known anything but love and affection. “What would you know about my kids?” he snapped. “What would you know about being a parent?” he asked, hoping to wound her. “You were never there.”

His mother sighed. “Your children are in danger, Ben. How will you protect them? You can’t even protect yourself.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “The dark side already calls to your daughter. It will consume her, one day. I know what it’s like to lose a child. You can’t let it happen.” Her image in the mirror began to fade away. 

“Wait!” Kylo called, in spite of himself. “What should I do?”

“Save them,” Leia told him. “Save them all.” Then she vanished entirely, leaving Kylo alone, looking at his own reflection. 

He woke with a start, finding himself sprawled on the floor of his study. His nose throbbed and there was some dried blood on his face. He realized he must have pitched forward out of his chair as he fell unconscious, hitting his face on the floor as he fell. Wiping his nose on the back of his hand, he slowly sat up, feeling a bit dizzy and more than a little bit frightened. That was no normal dream. His mother and uncle had been trying to reach him, to warn him. But warn him about what? The children weren’t in danger, he’d made sure of that. He and Rey protected them from everything. And you protect them from Rey, the small voice in his head reminded him. No, Kylo thought back. From Palpatine, not Rey. 

Rey’s grandfather, the old emperor, had tried to make a reappearance a couple of times over the years. The first time they’d felt Padme kick, Rey’s eyes had flashed yellow, just for a moment. She’d starred off, her gaze faraway. “She’s going to be so powerful,” Rey had breathed, her voice gravelly. “She’ll destroy me. Better to end it now.”

“Rey,” Kylo tried to keep his voice calm, though he’d been frightened out of his mind. “Come back to me, Rey.” He’d forced himself to lean in and plant a kiss on her temple. “I love you. You love me. And you love our baby.” 

As quick as he’d come, the evil spirit of Darth Sidious was gone and Rey was herself again. She’d cried in his arms, “I’m sorry,” she’d sobbed over and over again. “I’m so sorry.”

“That wasn’t you, Rey,” he’d soothed. “We’ll keep him away. Together.” 

And they had, until Jacen was born. Kylo had awoken one night to find Rey gone from their room. He’d found her in the children’s room, starring down at their newborn son. Padme, still only a year old, slept soundly nearby. Kylo had relaxed until he saw the pillow in Rey’s hand, saw her begin to bring it down over the baby’s face. He’d used the Force to pull her toward him, out the door and into their sitting room, where he’d wrestled her to the ground and held her as she battled the demon within her. “No!” he’d screamed, in both terror and anger. “You won’t hurt them.” Rey had glared up at him, her eyes glowing gold.

“They’ll grow!” she- or the spirit inside her- hissed. “They’ll overthrow me.”

Kylo felt something well up inside him, an old, raw anger. He nearly began to force choke the dark creature below him, determined to be rid of the thing that threatened his family. Baby Jacen’s cries brought him out of it. Hate and violence did nothing against Palpatine, they never had. Only love could banish him. “Rey,” he’d whispered. “Come back to us. I love you. Padme loves you. Jacen loves you. We need you.” 

Rey had blinked, her eyes returning to their beautiful natural hazel. “Kylo,” she’d wept. “I’d never hurt them, never.” Kylo went and got Jacen out of his crib, bouncing him gently to calm him. 

“I know,” Kylo told had told her. “It wasn’t you.” Rey tried to reach for the baby but Kylo had held him away, unwilling to hand him over until he was certain Rey was back to herself. His wife looked surprised and maybe a little hurt but then she nodded, understanding. 

“I can keep him out,” she’d insisted. “I can do it.” And Palpatine hadn’t been back since. But Kylo never forgot that night. A part of him was always afraid. Afraid of Rey, afraid of the dark side, afraid of their power. Afraid he wouldn’t be able to protect his family. And now Padme was having dreams. Dark dreams. And his long silent family was reaching out to warn him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey takes a little walk.

Rey wandered through the dusty streets of the marketplace, using her hand to shield the sun from her eyes. Tatooine certainly wasn’t a very pleasant place but it had a strange sort of charm to it. The planet was quaint, remote. Almost untouched by the war and chaos in the rest of the galaxy. Rey had only stopped off there to refuel but she’d found herself longing to explore, thrilled with the idea of getting lost in a crowd. It wasn’t often she got to be anonymous, at least not anymore. Empress Palpatine was known and feared everywhere she went. But the rather isolated people of this sand planet didn’t know the face of their ruler. Rey had traded her signature black robes for a simple gray tunic and leggings. A large cloak concealed her baby bump. She could have been anyone, just an ordinary woman, and she felt strangely drawn to that idea. She’d been compelled to take a walk, if only for a few minutes.

You used to always be no one, she thought as she walked along through the crowd. You didn’t think it was so nice then. She’d always longed to be important, to be special. And it turned out she was right. She was destined for the darkness, for the mighty throne of the Sith. Rey wasn’t just Rey from no where, she was Rey, Empress of the Final Order. More than she ever could have even thought to ask for. And yet, as she looked at the people of Tatooine, she found herself longing for something...else.

A young couple walked by her, hands linked. They stopped at a vendor and purchased a cool drink to share. The man planted a sweet kiss on the woman’s cheek, making her giggle. They walked off, still smiling dreamily at one another. Rey couldn’t help but stare wistfully at them. She began to imagine wandering these streets hand in hand with Kylo, their babies trailing behind. They’d do their shopping, maybe buy the kids a treat. Then the would all go home and have dinner together. A simple life. No war, no empire. But Rey knew this could never be. They’d never been nor would they ever be a normal couple, had never had the chance to be a normal family. Her children would never run around playing like the children in the market. What would it feel like, to be so free? To just get to be with the ones you loved? Rey began to feel tears welling up in her eyes. Pregnancy always made her so emotional. That’s what this was. Or maybe the heat was starting to get to her. Her destiny was great. The galaxy was hers. There was no reason for her to be discontent. 

Rey used a few credits to buy a drink from the same stand the couple had. She found a small ledge in an alleyway and sat down to get her bearings. She checked in with the baby first, reaching gently to feel the soft glow of her life force. Rey felt her daughter’s emotions, sleepy, simple, contentment. All was well. “At least I’m not totally alone on this mission,” she whispered to her child. 

Next she turned her attention to searching for the general, reaching out to try to feel his life force. It was less familiar to her than those of her family but it had been easy enough for her to track until shortly before she’d landed on Tatooine, when the trail went cold. She tried again, attempting to focus intently on her feelings of anger and resentment toward her former friend. He kept alluding them, kept fighting them even though the war was clearly lost. She hated him, hated what he stood for. Rey tried to concentrate on those feelings but just couldn’t make herself focus. She was shaken, though she didn’t really understand why. She hadn’t felt called by the light in years. 

Rey shifted her attention to something else, her longing for her husband and her great desperation to talk to him. She hoped it would work, their control of the dyad bond was still a bit shaky. They couldn’t always connect when they wanted to. But she needed to try, she needed to talk to him, to be reminded of what this was all for. Their love. This time, she got lucky. The rest of the world fell away and Kylo stood in front of her, blood running down his nose, a strange expression on his face. Rey was startled “Darling, what’s wrong? What happened to your face?”  
Kylo stiffened, just a fraction. “It’s nothing. I fell asleep and fell out of my chair. How’s the mission going?” But Rey wasn’t ready to let it go yet.

“You fell asleep?” she asked skeptically. She could sense his fear, raw and alive.“You’re lying, Ren. I can tell.” She was hurt. “We don’t lie to each other.” It was one the foundations of their relationship. No matter what, they always told one another the truth. 

Kylo sighed. He knew he was in trouble when his wife called him Ren. “I’m afraid, Rey. I-I had a dream. A vision.”

“Tell me,” Rey begged. “Don’t shut me out, Kylo.” 

“It was my family,” Kylo whispered reluctantly. “They spoke to me. They told me we’re all in danger. That the darkness will consume us all.” He looked down at his feet. “My mother told me the children are at risk.”

This was nothing new of course, Kylo’s family had made a few attempts to “save” them over the years. They always dealt with it, pushed them away. But Rey didn’t take threats to her children lightly. And her husband seemed so frightened. “I’ll be home soon, once I take care of this. It won’t be long, I promise.”

“Please, Rey. Hurry,” Kylo begged, tears in his eyes. “I feel it again, the strongest I’ve felt it in years.” He stepped closer to where she sat, reaching out to touch her face. Rey leaned into his touch, placing her hand over his.

“Hold on,” she told him. “We’ll sort it out. We always do.”

“I need you,” Kylo told her. “I can’t resist the call to the light without you.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo spends some time with his kids.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prion is a planet I made up. Feel free to leave a comment!

“And so we’ll just have the locals removed from the area and then we’ll be ready to begin the drilling,” Captain Larkon, chief engineer of the Final Order, proclaimed. “We’re certain the minerals lay beneath the settlement, probably a mile or so down.” He paused, looking at the faces gathered around the conference table. “It shouldn’t take long,” he continued. “The cost is going to a bit higher than we anticipated but in my opinion the benefits will certainly be worth it.” He paused again, as if waiting for something. The silence dragged on. “Sir?” he finally ventured nervously, looking toward the black clad man at the head of the table.

Kylo, who had been lost in his own head, snapped to attention. He tried to recover himself, hide his inattention. He was glad he wore his mask. “Yes, Captain?” he asked coolly. 

Larkon looked confused. “Do you approve of the plan?” he asked. “For the drilling project on Prion,” he added. 

“And where exactly will the residents of the settlement be moved to?” Kylo inquired. “If we plan on drilling beneath it.”

The engineer was even more taken aback, it wasn’t like the emperor to ask such questions. The lives of some outer rim peasants meant nothing compared to the needs of the Final Order. “Well..” he began. “They’ll find somewhere else to go I suppose. Does it matter?” Larkon gulped, feeling the glare of the emperor from behind his mask. He needed to watch his tone. “This project is of great importance, Your Highness. We need the revenue. This will fund our special weapons program for the next decade.”

Kylo didn’t understand what was happening. Why did he feel so much doubt? This project was vital, he knew it and so did Rey. They’d been planning this for months. So a few locals lost their homes. What did it matter? Larkon was right, they needed to drill on Prion to fund their weapons development program. The Resistance still lived on, they needed bigger and more powerful weapons to end them. He knew those things. And still...it felt wrong. The way everything else did. Kylo couldn’t shake the feeling, the pull to the light. It had only gotten worse after his vision, he found himself more conflicted than ever. Without Rey here to pull him back, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to fight it. Without her, he was lost. Suddenly, his comm link beeped. It was Kora.

“Sir, it’s nearly seven,” she said. “The children are asking for you.”

That was all she had to say. “I’ll be right there,” he replied as he jumped to his feet. Either he or Rey (preferably both) always took the children back from the nanny at night. Family dinner was a nightly ritual. Larkon and the rest of the committee looked a bit annoyed but they all knew better than to say anything. 

“Do you approve of the project, Your Highness?” Larkon asked again, taking the risk.

Kylo hesitated for a fraction of a second. What was he supposed to say? What choice did he have? “Of course, Captain,” he replied. “Don’t let us down.”

“Daddy, look at my tower!” Padme called. It was after dinner and she sat in the corner of the living room, working on a rather large city of interconnecting blocks. She’d been working on it for a week now, he and Rey had to be careful not to step on it.

“Great job, Padme!” he exclaimed. “Very impressive.” He returned his attention to the little boy in his lap and the pen he was holding. He’d begun teaching Jacen the very basics of calligraphy a few months ago and the boy had taken to it immediately. He’d tried to interest Padme in calligraphy too but the restless little girl had given up after just a few minutes. “Can’t win them all,” he’d said to Rey with a shrug and a laugh.

He handed his son the pen and pointed to the right spot on the parchment. “Alright J, let’s see what you can do.” He gently placed his hand over Jacen’s tiny one, guiding him through the proper forms. Jacen concentrated, scrunching up his face. He looked so much like his mother in that moment that Kylo had to stifle a laugh.

“I did it!” Jacen proclaimed happily at the end of the row. “Daddy, I did it!” 

Kylo smiled. “Perfect,” he said as he planted a kiss on Jacen’s temple. It was strange and humbling to see his children growing up, leaving babyhood behind and becoming little people. He could see the types of people they were beginning to grow into. Nothing had ever made him so proud. Or so worried. What kind of world were they building for them? He thought again of his family’s warning and shuddered. 

Jacen wriggled out of Kylo’s lap and ran over to where his sister was hard at work on her next building project. “I’ll help!” Jacen announced. He reached for a block. However, he accidentally hit the side of the nearest tower, sending it crashing to the ground.

Padme jumped up, indignant. “Dad!” she cried. “Jacen knocked my building down!”

“It was an accident!” Jacen shouted. “I didn’t mean to, Padme!”

“You do did so!” Padme insisted. “Dad, he did it on purpose!

Kylo sighed. He remembered when they’d found out about Rey’s second pregnancy. Padme had only been a few months old. “Kriff,” he’d said, after they’d hugged and kissed. “It’s going to be a nightmare to have two so close in age.”

Rey had only smiled, reaching down to stroke her still flat stomach. “No, it’s going to be great. They’ll be best friends. They’ll always have someone.” Most of the time, Rey was right. Padme and Jacen loved each other fiercely. However, in moments like these, it could be a nightmare indeed.

“Bedtime,” said he said to his children, cutting off the fight before it had a chance to start. “Pajamas, now.”

“Can’t we stay up?” his daughter asked, her anger at her brother already forgotten. Kylo chuckled. He knew he had a reputation as something of a pushover with his kids. They were probably hoping for a free for all with their mother away. 

“Nope,” he replied, reaching down to ruffle Padme’s curls. “Bedtime is still bedtime.”

“Can we sleep in bed with you?” she asked. Kylo noticed she sounded anxious. He got down on his knees to look his daughter in the eye. She looked as though she were close to tears.

“Padme?” he asked. “Is something wrong?”

“The dreams are scary,” she whispered. “I need you. You can scare them away.” 

Kylo remembered his mother’s words. “The dark side already calls to your daughter,” Leia had warned. He’d known this was coming, it was unavoidable. What could he do? “Save them,” she’d told him. But how could he do that? His family was right. He couldn’t even protect himself. 

The darkness had called to Kylo when he was a little boy. He knew how it felt. All he’d wanted was his parents to tell him it would be alright. “Okay,” he said. “You can sleep in my bed tonight. Go in and get settled. I’ll be there in a little bit.”

Padme looked relieved. Jacen beamed, clearly delighted to have benefited from his sister’s distress. “Can we watch a holo?” he asked.

“Don’t push your luck,” Kylo replied. 

“Can’t you come to bed now?” Padme asked, obviously still worried. 

“I’ll just be a few minutes, baby,” he promised. “There’s someone I need to go talk to.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo makes a choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short little chapter but I really wanted to get something posted. Life got a bit crazy but we should be back to our regularly scheduled updates. Thank you all so much for all the support I've gotten on this story, it really means a lot.

Kylo ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep, shaky breath. He was really going to do this. There was no coming back from it, he knew. He might lose everything, his throne, his knights, his power. Rey might turn her back on him. Force, she might even kill him. Maybe she’d be right to do so. This was the ultimate betrayal. They’d sworn they’d never channel the light again. He’d promised her as he’d fucked her that first time in the shadow of the throne, sworn that they’d be together in the darkness. Two that are one. Rey made him promise again and again, whenever she sensed he was beginning to feel the pull again. He battled the call to the light constantly but with his wife’s help, he’d always managed to stay strong. This was different though. Kylo knew he had no choice this time. He needed answers. 

He’d checked to make sure the children were asleep, planted a kiss on each of their foreheads, and slowly crept out of their apartment. Taking the elevator down to the lower level of the palace, he reached he and Rey’s private training room. Placing his hand on the scanner outside the door, he began to panic. Could he really go through with this? Go against the love of his life and everything she stood for? Kylo grit his teeth as the door to the training area slid open. Yes, he could do this. For his children. They mattered more than anything else ever could. Kylo walked inside the dark, cavernous gymnasium, feeling more sure of himself. His kids depended on him. The door slid shut, locking out the rest of the world. No one would find him here, no one aside from he and Rey had access. Here, at least until Rey came back, he could be alone.

Seating himself on one of the mats that lay on the cold stone floor, Kylo began to meditate. Not the type of meditation he and Rey did in this room every day, their thoughts consumed with anger, power, passion. Instead he worked to clear those emotions away, focusing on other feelings that he normally tried to keep at bay. The selfless, sacrificial love he felt for Rey. The love that had driven him to dive into the temple that had once stood on Exegol. He thought of the peace he felt when he held his children in his arms, the powerful, peaceful love he felt for them. He thought of his father, the day his memory had come to him on the ruins of the Death Star. The unspoken love between them.

Kylo allowed these feelings the wash over him, fill him with peace and purpose. He began to think of his mother, his need to see her, talk to her. Beg her for help. “Be with me,” he began to chant quietly. “Be with me.” Filled with light for the first time in years, he began to feel tears roll down his cheeks. “Mom,” he heard himself whisper. “Please.”

Suddenly, he felt a presence behind him. Someone placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. Kylo tried to work up the nerve to turn around, to look his mother in the eye for the first time in over a decade. Before he managed to do so, however, the visiting presence spoke. It wasn’t the deep, soothing voice of his mother. Kylo whirled around to face the spirit, shivers going up his spine. “Hey kid,” said Luke Skywalker.   
Kylo stuttered, struggling to speak. “I...I wanted to talk to my mother.”

Luke smiled apologetically. “I know you did.” He sat down next to Kylo on the mat. “But for now, you’ll just have to settle for me.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo and his uncle have a little chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey will be back next chapter, so stay tuned! And stay safe out there.

“I’d rather not,” Kylo snapped. He should have known that this would be a mistake. His uncle’s face was the very last thing he wanted to see. Though he loathed to admit it, Luke Skywalker still terrified him to his very core. Kylo knew that this was irrational, he was the emperor of the Final Order, consort of the mighty Empress Palpatine. He commanded armies, he destroyed planets. No one dared get in his way. But that didn’t stop him from waking up at night, it didn’t stop the nightmares. He’d see Luke Skywalker, standing over him with that hateful green lightsaber, prepared to kill him while he slept. Rey would hold him, stroking his hair, wiping his tears away. 

“Shhh,” she’d whisper, like she was comforting a frightened child rather than her lover. “You’re safe here. I’d never let anyone touch you. I’d destroy anyone who tried, even the great Luke Skywalker.” And Kylo knew she would, Rey would do anything to protect him. But Rey wasn’t here now. He had to face this demon on his own. 

Kylo clenched his fists, trying to give himself some strength. “Where is my mother?” he finally said. “She has been pestering me for year but when I finally reach out, she’s too busy to talk?”

Luke Skywalker remained calm. It was infuriating.“She wanted to come, Ben,” he said. “But she has some very important work to do right now.”

Kylo felt rage boil up inside of him, sudden and intense. “Something more important? I shouldn’t be surprised. There’s always something more important than me, isn’t there?” He knew he sounded like his four year old daughter when she threw a tantrum but he didn’t care. 

Luke sighed. He took a seat beside Kylo on the floor. “You’ll understand soon. I promise.” He paused for a moment, waiting. “You reached out,” he prompted after a few moments. “You fear the darkness that surrounds your family. Why now?”

Kylo remained silent for a few moments, before realizing that he had no choice but to speak up. He needed help, he knew that. “Padme...my daughter,” he explained. 

“I know who Padme is,” Luke said with a small smile.

“I’m worried about her,” Kylo continued. “She’s been having nightmares but...” he paused, not wanting to give voice to his fears. “I’m afraid they aren’t just dreams. I think Palpatine is after her.”

“Your mother and I have had the same fear,” Luke agreed. “The darkness calls to her, it wants to claim her, as it has claimed your wife.” Skywalker looked thoughtful. “As you pretend that it claims you,” he said gently. “But I don’t think that’s true.”

“You know nothing,” Kylo hissed. “I am loyal to the dark side, above all else.”

Luke snorted. “We both know that’s a lie, Ben. If you were truly lost, you wouldn’t have called out to your mother. You wouldn’t be working so hard to keep your children from learning anything about the Force.”

Kylo sputtered, at a loss for words. “I...I don’t keep my children from anything,” he squawked, knowing how unconvincing he sounded. 

Luke pressed forward gently. “Then why haven’t you started training them?” he asked quietly. “Rey tries to start all the time and you always talk her out of it. Why?”

Kylo had no answer. Skywalker was right. He’d used every excuse in the book to delay Padme’s training. There must have been a small part of him that wanted to protect her, protect his children. The dark side had given him a lot but it took as much as it gave. The way it drained him, the way it filled him with hate, he couldn’t stand to see his children that way. “I don’t know,” he muttered. “I don’t know what to do.” It was hard to admit that but it was true. He had no idea how to protect his family.

“What did you think would happen?” Luke asked, pain clear on his face. “Ben, what were you thinking?” He shook his head. “You came back to us, back to the light. Your mother sacrificed her life to reach you. You went to Rey on Exegol, to save her. Instead, we lost you both. Why did you agree to stay with Rey?” Luke’s calm facade was beginning to melt away. “You could have pushed her back to the light, as she pushed you. Instead, you joined her in the dark. Why?” he asked again. The pair sat in silence for a minute. 

“I was just tired, I guess,” Kylo said finally. “Tired of waiting.”

“Tired?” his uncle asked. “Tired of waiting for what?”

“For Rey,” Kylo answered but that wasn’t the entire truth. He sighed. If he was going to figure this out, he had to start being honest with himself, as hard and painful as that might be. “I was tired of waiting for someone to love me,” he whispered. “I was so, so tired of waiting.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We catch back up with a very frustrated, very angry Rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, I love writing this story. So happy to have you all along for the ride!

The Empress Palpatine sat in the cockpit of her small ship, growing more and more frustrated with every moment. She’d left Tatooine hours ago and still she’d made no headway. She’d been sitting out here, suspended in space, not knowing where to go next. Rey didn’t understand. It wasn’t as though she were some novice, she was one of the most powerful beings in the galaxy for Force sake! It should have been easy to find Dameron’s force signature. She’d been following him fine until she’d stopped to refuel and then...nothing. No trail to follow, no trace of him whatsoever. Had he died somehow? Killed himself to avoid recapture? No, that couldn’t be. There was no way she would get that lucky. He was hiding, like the coward that he was. Finn Dameron, always trying to save his own skin. Not this time, she’d find him. She’d finally be rid of him. She’d finally be able to leave the past behind.

Rey shifted uncomfortably. The damn pilot’s seat wasn’t much more comfortable than her throne back home, not for a woman nearing her eighth month of pregnancy at least. Would she even be able to battle Finn once she found him? Moving was getting harder and harder as her belly grew. Rey hadn’t thought much of it, she always kept working during her pregnancies, right up until birth. The Empire couldn’t be without its empress. Hell, she’d gone into labor with Jacen in the middle of a strategy meeting, her water breaking right there in the conference room. But meetings were one thing, duels with long time enemies were another. Maybe Kylo was right, maybe this was a bad idea. 

Thinking of her husband brought Rey’s other concerns to the forefront of her mind. Kylo was worried about the children. He was struggling with the light, the pull threatened the very existence of their empire. She was his anchor in the darkness. He needed her home. If she stayed away, if she took too long, would she lose him? Lose her family? The thought terrified her. As much as she loved her power, she loved her family too. Should she give up, go home? No, she couldn’t do that. Dameron had escaped them too many times already. She couldn’t let him humiliate her again. This wasn’t just about her power or her empire. This was personal. Rey knew she had to press on. But where to go? What to do? She felt out for his signature again, finding nothing. She groaned in frustration, slamming her fist into the control panel of the ship. Curse that man! This was hopeless!

Suddenly, she felt something. Not Finn’s signature, not her daughter’s. This was something else. It was faint, just the impression of a life force. Suddenly, there was a whisper. “Rey,” a kind, throaty voice whispered. “Rey.”

Rey was shocked. Aside from Kylo, no one called her by her first name anymore. She was “Empress,” or “Your Highness,” or “Milady.” Not Rey. She searched for the source of the voice, finding nothing in the tiny cockpit. “Rey,” the voice said again. Suddenly, she recognized it. Leia Organa. Her former teacher. Kylo’s mother. The grandmother of her children. Her mother in law, she supposed. The woman who’d been reaching out to Kylo for years, determined to “save him.” Determined to take him back to the light. To take him away from her. 

“Get away,” she snapped. “I won’t speak to you.” 

But Leia didn’t seem to be interested in speaking to her. Maybe that time had passed. Before Rey could do anything, before she could understand what was happening, she felt herself lose control of her own body. Leia’s spirit had gone into her, more gently than when she felt Palpatine take control but the feeling was largely the same. Rey was helpless in her own body. Leia took charge of the controls and urged the ship forward, jumping into hyperspace. Rey struggled to push the spirit out, to no avail. She was just along for the ride now, forced to go wherever Leia Organa willed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just for the record, I don't hate Finn. Dark Rey hates Finn.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia drops Rey off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a doozy to write, the next ones should be coming out a bit faster. Next, we'll be checking back in with our favorite broody dad, Kylo.

As the ship continued to hurtle through hyperspace, Rey strained against Leia’s hold, trying to wrestle control back. She wouldn’t let this happen! She wasn’t some puppet that Organa could just play with, not anymore. She wasn't the sad little orphan girl the old general had once known. Rey nobody had hung onto Leia’s every word, desperate for her approval. For her love. But Rey Palpatine? She was a different woman entirely. The Empress Palpatine knew that fear and power were much greater than love. 

“You love my son,” Leia’s voice echoed around Rey’s head. “And your children? You love them, don’t you? Oh, Rey. You are so lost. Please, we just want to help you.”

Rey couldn’t answer but she felt her anger rise. How could Leia Organa dare to lecture her? How could she even mention her son, after all she’d done to him? Rey had been the first person to give Kylo any type of love or belonging, his mother had given him nothing but rejection and pain. Rey wasn’t interested in any type of help that Organa could offer. She’d been avoiding her spirit for years. 

“Rey,” Leia said again. “You think you have control. You don’t. If you continue down this path, you’ll lose yourself entirely. You need help.” 

Rey’s anger only got stronger, giving her the slightest boost in power. She was able to regain just enough control to shout “I need you to leave my head, you old bitch!” before being forced back under Leia’s sway.

Unmoved, Organa took the ship out of hyperspace. Wherever they were headed, they were almost there. “I’m taking you to see an old friend, Rey,” Leia told her. “You and Ben were never going to make any progress together. You feed off each other. You keep him in darkness and he keeps you. Maybe apart, we’ll finally be able to help you.”

They were approaching an unfamiliar planet, one nearly completely obscured by a thick covering of some type of cloud. As they drew closer, Rey could see that it wasn’t just a cloud, it was a raging storm. Using Rey’s hands, Leia began to maneuver the ship through the weather, obviously planning on landing. The ship rocked back and forth, being pitched around by the intense storm outside. Rey realized that this might be her last chance. They would land soon and whatever Leia had planned would come to pass. This couldn’t happen. Summoning all her anger and hate for Organa, Rey tried again to force the general from her mind. She succeeded for just a moment, long enough to take the ship’s controls back. She pulled up as hard as she could, only to feel Leia take over once again. She took the ship back down. They pushed through the cloud covering and entered the atmosphere, the storm still raging all around them. Rey tried again, pushing back against Leia’s spirit with all of her might. She wrestled the controls away again, veering the ship sharply off to the side. Rey’s latest success didn’t last long. Organa took control back and continued to take the ship down. “Stop,” she barked. “You’re going to crash us.”

Rey almost didn’t hear her. She was more determined than ever now. Leia Organa would not get the best of Rey Palpatine. She pushed back again, grabbing the controls again and pulling the ship off to the side. Unfortunately, she made this move just as a gust of wind slammed into the side of the ship. They were blown to the left, then hit by another gust and blown to right, back and forth. Neither Rey nor Leia was in control now, the ship was being blown and tossed like a leaf on the water. There was a loud, metallic ripping sound and a great shudder. One of the wings had been ripped off by the wind. The ship was plummeting toward the ground, faster and faster. Rey felt Leia’s spirit leave her body. “Just like her,” Rey thought. “Leaving when things get tough.” She was in control of herself once again and she had just a moment to act. Using the Force, she pushed the glass from the front window of the TIE. “I love you Kylo,” she thought before leaping through the hole, leaving the falling ship behind. 

Rey fell faster once she was free of the TIE, coming closer and closer to the ground. She reached out with the Force to catch herself, planning to slow her fall. However, before she could, something struck the back of her head and she lost consciousness.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo makes a choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are about to start heating up! I hope you're all staying safe out there.

Kylo woke up early the next morning, still exhausted and still utterly conflicted. Padme and Jacen still slept soundly on either side of him, tucked beneath his arms. Kylo himself had hardly slept at all. He’d been up for hours after his conversation with Skywalker, pacing the training room and trying to come to some of conclusion. Luke had forced him to confront some hard truths. Kylo knew he was unhappy, he knew his kids were in danger. He knew that what he and Rey were doing was wrong. He knew the light was calling him, he knew it would never stop. But what to do about it? Finally, he’d been forced to give up and go back upstairs to his quarters. He didn’t want the kids to wake up and not know where he was. 

Just a few minutes after he’d gotten back, Padme had woken up in tears. Another nightmare. She’d seen a man with yellow eyes and cloak sitting on their throne, laughing. “And then,” she’d sniffed. “I saw you and mama. You weren’t moving. There was red everywhere.” Padme began to cry even harder, burying her face in Kylo’s shoulder. “He told me he killed you. And that I was his now.” 

It had taken hours to get her calmed down, especially since Kylo was pretty shaken by the whole thing himself. Once she’d finally fallen back to sleep, Kylo lay awake, thinking. He couldn’t keep doing this. Palpatine was after Padme, the way he was always after Rey. Jacen would be next. They couldn’t fight him off, not like this. Not while they acted as living embodiments of the dark side. Love couldn’t continue to survive among all this hate. And when it came down to it, what he’d told Luke was true. He’d accepted Rey’s offer because he loved her, he didn’t care about power. He never had, when he really thought about it. The First Order had never really mattered to him, all it ever was was a distraction. He didn’t need an empire, he just needed Rey. Finally, at some point, he drifted off to sleep.

Kylo rose carefully, trying not to wake either of the kids. He wandered into the kitchen area and started brewing some caf. He sat down at their little table and tried to concentrate. He couldn’t figure this out on his own. More than anything, he needed to talk to Rey. Kylo had to believe that she would listen to him. They loved each other, didn’t they? They were partners, a dyad. Two halves of a whole. They would figure something out, together. 

He reached out with the Force, expecting to connect with the soothing presence of Rey’s life force. Instead he found...nothing! He didn’t sense her at all. This was unheard of. They couldn’t always manage to talk directly to one another but they could always feel one another’s signature. He tried again, pushing harder. Then again, growing more desperate. This never happened and it could only mean one thing. No, she couldn’t be dead. He couldn’t bear to even think it. He would have felt her go, he was sure of it. He reached out again, only to be met with cold nothingness. This wasn’t right. Surely he would know if he was without half his soul. This couldn’t be real. There had to be another explanation. 

The sound of bare feet on the floor pulled him out of his shock. Jacen came running into the room, in search of breakfast. Seeing his father’s face, he stopped. “Daddy?” he asked. “What’s wrong?”

Kylo forced himself to smile. He didn’t want to worry the kids, not when so many things were about to change. “Nothing, J,” he lied. “It’s early, Kora won’t be here for an hour. How about some breakfast?” 

Jacen didn’t answer. Instead, he climbed into Kylo’s lap, wrapping him in a hug. “You’re worried,” he said. “You need to be happy.”

Kylo thought about lying, insisting that everything was fine. Instead, he hugged his son. “What did I do to deserve you J?” he asked the little boy. 

Jacen giggled. “I don’t know,” he said. Then, he climbed down from Kylo’s lap. “Can we have breakfast now?” he asked. 

But Kylo didn’t move. He just kept looking at Jacen, the little boy that depended on him for everything. And in the next room, there was a little girl that depended on him too. They trusted him to keep them safe. Rey or no Rey, he needed to do something. It wouldn’t be easy but he knew he had no choice. He had to make the call.

“Daddy?” Jacen asked again. “I’m very hungry.” 

“Sure,” Kylo replied, snapping back to the current moment. “Let’s see what we have in here.”  
He began looking through the pantry, grabbing the container of sweet grain flakes. He grabbed one of the purple fruit from the bowl on the counter and began to slice it up. Jacen sat at the table, patiently watching his father. “J,” Kylo said, fighting to keep his voice cheerful. “I have a great idea.”

“What,” Jacen asked, excited. “What’s the idea?”

Kylo knew what he had to do.“Why don’t we take a little trip today? Just you, me and Padme?”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo takes the plunge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry for the delay, I was working hard on another fic but it's complete now, so I'm all yours! I'm really excited about the upcoming chapters, things are really going to start heating up. We'll be hearing from Kylo again next chapter, then back to Rey.

About five years back, before their palace on Exegol had been completed, before Padme had emerged into the world, when they were still actively fighting a war rather than ruling an empire, Kylo had turned to Rey in the middle of the night with an idea. They were laying in bed together, still sweaty from their most recent bout of love making. Their quarters on the star destroyer were dark, the only light coming from the stars outside the view port.“So, I have an idea,” he’d told her. “I’m not sure you’ll like it.”

Rey had turned to face him, propping herself up on her elbow. Kylo still couldn’t get over how beautiful she was, naked in his bed, her dark hair loose and wild. She seemed to glow. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was, to be with her at last. He’d never known he could love anyone so much. She’d looked at him and smiled. “Your thoughts are loud, sweetheart. I love you too.” She’d scooted closer to him, burying her face in the crook of his neck. He pulled her into his embrace and planted a kiss on the top of her head. “And I’m sure I’ll like your idea, whatever it is,” she added. “Tell me.”

“I’ve been thinking, maybe we should find a second home.” He’d reached down and let his hand settle on her growing bump. She was four months pregnant then and just beginning to show. He’d never been so excited and terrified in his life. “Somewhere for the three of us to go and spend time alone together, be a family.”  
Rey had looked up at him, dumbstruck. Kylo knew why. Having a home at all was a foreign concept to Rey, the idea of a second home was almost beyond her comprehension. “A second home?” she’d repeated. 

Kylo had nodded. “Yeah. So we can have time away from Exegol, with the baby.” He thought of himself as a child, lonely, longing for his parents attention, longing to be part of a normal family, wishing his mother would step away from her duties for even a moment to just be with him. He wanted to make sure his daughter never felt the way he had. She would know that she always came first, even before duty. “Somewhere we can escape all the pressure of running things and just be together.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Rey had said slowly. “What exactly did you have in mind?”

“Someplace isolated, maybe out in nature. Somewhere beautiful.” He frowned. “I know why we have to live on Exegol but...”

“It’s not exactly the best place to raise a baby,” Rey agreed with a nod. “Center of power and all that but there aren’t a lot of spaces for a kid to play.” She’d smiled again, lighting up their darkened room. “I like it. I think it’s a wonderful idea.” She looked down at her bump. “What do you think, baby girl?” she’d asked with a grin. “She likes it too,” she answered. “But she says it’ll have to be something already done. We already have one home being built, we can’t manage another construction project during war time.”

Kylo had gathered his wife into his arms. “Reasonable,” he’d agreed, planting a kiss first on her cheek, then her lips. “I’ll find us the perfect place.”

And he had, a beautiful manor house on a large piece of property on Naboo. The house itself was relatively small but well built and it overlooked a crystal clear lake on one side and a sunny meadow on the other. The whole place was surrounded by forest. It was scenic, luxurious, and totally remote. They visited whenever possible, sometimes the whole family and sometimes just Kylo and the kids. No one in the Final Order knew exactly where their vacation home was, that was a closely guarded secret, but they knew it existed and they knew the royal family visited it frequently. Therefore, it came as no surprise when Kylo Ren announced that he would be taking the children there for a few days.

Well, not no surprise. It was a bit unusual for both the emperor and empress to leave Exegol at the same time, generally at least one of them was there to run things. But Ren was known for making strange, spontaneous choices, and generally following his whims not matter where they led him. It was the empress that kept things together. So, while the choice to go away now was an odd one, no one suspected that anything particularly out of the ordinary was going on. Which was just the way Kylo wanted it.

Kora finished feeding the children breakfast and got their things packed while Kylo got everything set up for their departure. He delegated necessary tasks to their commanders and gave instructions to his knights. He prepared their ship. Everything needed to appear normal, as though they were just going on a trip. Only he knew the truth. 

He went up to their apartment to collect the kids from Kora. They were excited, going to Naboo was a treat. “Bye, Kora!” they chirped as they hugged their nanny goodbye. They were fond of her, which always made Kylo happy. Hiring a human nanny for the children had been his idea. He’d been practically raised by droids and knew what that could do to a kid.

They boarded the ship, the kids chatting happily as they buckled themselves into their seats for takeoff. Kylo sat behind the controls. “Alright,” he called out. “Everybody ready?”

“Yes!” cried Padme.

“Yes,” muttered Jacen, with a bit less enthusiasm. He was afraid of flying. Kylo and Rey both hoped he would outgrow it. 

“Hang in there Jacen,” Kylo told his son gently. “Remember the trick I showed you.”

The little boy nodded and hid his face behind his hands. He began to hum softly to himself. Kylo punched the controls and the ship took flight, launching them through the atmosphere and into space. He breathed a small sigh of relief. They’d gotten off planet without incident. “I have something to tell you,” he said with a smile, keeping his tone as light as possible. “A surprise. We aren’t going to our lake house.” 

The children were confused. Well, Padme was at least. Jacen still hadn’t come out of his hiding place. “What do you mean, daddy?” Padme asked. “Where are we going?”

“Someplace even better,” Kylo told her as he took them into light speed. “I’m going to take you to meet an old friend of mine.” 

Padme looked even more confused now. Her parents didn’t have friends, they had each other and they had subjects. Nothing else. “Who?” she asked. 

“Her name is Maz Kanata,” Kylo said. “We’re going to visit her on Takodana.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, let me know what you think down in the comments!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maz and Kylo have a chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment and tell me what you think! Next chapter we'll be catching back up with Rey, who has gotten into some trouble. Drama and pining will ensue.

The flight to Takodana seemed far too short. Before Kylo knew it, he was putting the ship down by Maz’s castle. He froze, unable to leave his seat. He wasn’t ready for this, he didn’t know how he’d ended up here. It was a betrayal of everything he and Rey had worked for, everything they’d built. What would he say to Maz anyway? Could he really convince her to help? What was he doing? 

“Daddy!” a little voice chirped. It was Padme. She squirmed in her seat. “Can we get up now? We’ve been sitting forever!” Then, Kylo remembered why he was doing this. His kids needed him. And Rey was missing, her life force still absent. He needed help. 

“Yes,” he replied. “Come on.” The kids got up and followed him eagerly, apparently unaware of their father’s apprehension. They were excited to be in a new place. “Stay close to me,” he told them. “Don’t wander off.” He led them off the ship. 

“Wow!” Jacen cried, taking in the green forests. “Bewful,” he said, with the hint of the baby’s lisp that still sometimes cropped up in his speech. It always made Rey giggle. Kylo’s heart hurt at the thought. He had to find her. They had to destroy the evil that was plaguing their family.

Padme pointed to the stone structure in the distance. “What’s that?” she asked. 

“That’s where we’re going,” Kylo told her. “That’s where Maz lives.” 

Padme squealed with delight. “Really?” she asked.

“Yes but you need to listen to me,” he said, his tone serious. “You need to listen to me in there. And do as I say.” He looked at both of his children but his focus was on Padme. “If I tell you to do something, you need to do it. No arguing. Understand?”

“Yes,” Jacen said quickly. 

“Why?” Padme asked, clearly startled by her father’s tone. “What’s going on?”

“Just promise,” Kylo insisted he knelt down and met her at eye level. “Promise, Padme.”

“I promise,” Padme said, reluctantly. 

“Alright.” Kylo stood up. “Let’s go.” He took Padme’s hand in one of his own, Jacen’s in the other. They walked across the meadow, to the ancient castle. The children were undaunted by the size of the structure, their palace on Exegol was much larger. However, they did seem a bit intimidated by the variety of creatures coming and going. The kids rarely met new people, they’d spent most of their time with their parents or nanny. Jacen clung tightly to Kylo’s side, burying his little face in the black fabric of his father’s tunic. Kylo felt like doing the same. The idea of facing Maz was terrifying. But he knew he had no choice. Taking a deep breath, he pushed open the doors and entered the cantina. 

“Ben Solo!” the voice of Maz Kanata echoed around the hall. A few patrons paused in their conversations and glanced over. Most didn’t even look up. Few people knew the name Ben Solo and almost no one knew his face. The tiny, orange woman hurried over and looked up at him. She didn’t seem surprised to see him there. “I’d wondered when you’d show up,” she said. 

Kylo didn’t know how to respond. The kids clung to him more tightly now, even Padme was shy. “Um, hi Maz,” he managed. Where could he even begin? “I’m just here because, well I,” he stuttered. 

“You’re here because you need something, desperately,” she supplied. “Now follow me.”

Kylo followed her to a kitchen area in a back room, the kids holding desperately onto his arms. Maz pointed to a table and chairs. “Sit down,” she directed. “You look starved.”

Kylo nodded to the kids. “Go on,” he told them. “Sit down.” They did, silently.

Maz smiled, more at the children than their father. “My cantina isn’t really a place for children,” she said. “I thought you might be more comfortable back here. Now, I’m going to fetch you something to eat. Don’t move.” She left the room, returning quickly with a large tray of food. She set down plate fulls of meat, vegetables, fruits, bread. Kylo began to relax a little. She wouldn’t feed them so well if she was going to turn them in, would she?

The kids began to eat, still not speaking. “And,” Maz said. “I brought a treat.” Reaching into her pocket, she produced a couple of bright purple candies. “I had a feeling you kids might want something sweet.” Padme reached forward slowly and took one, a tiny smile on her lips. She popped it into her mouth. Once Jacen saw that his sister’s candy wasn’t poisoned, he reached forward and took one himself. 

“Now,” Maz said. “Are you going to tell me why you’re here, Solo or am I going to have to guess?”

Kylo glanced at his children. They already seemed confused by the mention of the name Solo. This wasn’t something he wanted to discuss in front of them. At least not yet. “Is there somewhere we can go?” he asked. 

Maz glanced at the kids and seemed to understand. “We can stand outside the door,” she said. “If they’ll be alright. No one will be able to get back here without us seeing them. And no one out there will be paying any attention to us.”

Kylo was reluctant to leave his kids’ sight but he saw no other option.“I’ll be right outside,” he told the children. “Stay here and eat. Come find me if you need anything.” He followed Maz back out into the common area. 

“Beautiful children” she said once they’d closed the door behind them. “What are their names?”

Kylo hesitated but saw no reason to lie. “Padme and Jacen.”

“Your parents would be proud of you, Solo,” Maz said.

Kylo didn’t respond. He didn’t know what to say. This was all so...difficult. “In fact,” the woman continued. “I know they are. You’ve left the Final Order, my boy. You’ve come back from the darkness. I can see it in your eyes.”

“It’s not that simple,” Kylo told her. 

“I think it is, when you really think about it,” Maz replied, gazing at him calmly. “But why don’t you explain?”

“I didn’t come here for any noble reason,” Kylo admitted. “I just came here because I need to contact the Resistance. I thought, I don’t know.” He struggled to speak, with the tiny woman starring at him. It was as though she were reading his soul. “I thought maybe you could help me,” he finally managed. “But I don’t know why you would.”

“I could probably be persuaded to, if you tell me why,” Maz told him. She wasn’t letting up.

“I’m afraid,” Kylo finally said, quietly. “The darkness, I thought we were controlling it but...” he trailed off.

“You weren’t,” Maz filled in. “I see.”  
“The old emperor, he wants our children,” Kylo continued. “He’s already coming after our daughter. And I don’t know what to do.” 

“I’m not surprised,” Maz replied. “Palpatine was never going to fade away. But there is more to it than that.”

“Rey is missing,” Kylo told her. It hurt to even say it. His other half, the love of his life, vanished. She would have never shut herself off from him on purpose, never. They didn’t hide from each other. Something horrible must have happened.“I can’t feel her in the Force. We’ve always been able to sense one another. But when I search for her, I feel nothing. With Palpatine and now this, I had to do something.” He paused and looked to Maz, hoping he had said enough. But she only looked at him. “Rey is pregnant,” he told her. “Only a couple of months away from birth. I need to find her. I need to find both of them.”

“This still doesn't explain why you would seek out the Resistance,” Maz insisted. “Why involve them? Why not search for your wife on your own?”

“I need extra hands,” Kylo told her, still unwilling to admit the truth. 

“Then why not use your own armies?” Maz asked him. “Why seek out your enemy for help?”

“I don’t know!” Kylo snapped. “Just tell me how to contact them!” His voice rang out across the bar, startling a few of the patrons. They looked over, clearly wondering what the trouble was. Maz calmly waved them away.

“Back to your drinks,” she called. They obeyed. She turned her attention back to Kylo. “You do know,” she said. “And if you don’t say it, I won’t help you.”

“That’s all there is.” Kylo was ready to grab the kids and head back to the ship. This was clearly a massive mistake. “I’ll be going then.” 

Maz, however, wasn’t done with him yet. “You need to admit it to yourself, Solo. Say it out loud.”

“I couldn’t do it anymore,” he finally said. “Is that what you want to hear? I came back to the dark side to be with Rey, not because I wanted to. But the light never left me, I’ve been struggling this entire time.” He was shocked, hardly able to believe the words that were leaving his mouth. “I want to bring the Final Order down. That’s why I want to contact the Resistance.”

Maz nodded, apparently satisfied. “There you go,” she said. “I’ll put you in contact with Poe Dameron. My guess is that he’ll be glad to hear from you.” Kylo doubted that was true but he let Maz continue. “His husband is missing too,” she told him. “No one has heard from Finn Dameron in weeks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay healthy everyone!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey has a scary dream. Then she wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter we'll be checking back in with Rey, then we'll have our first Finn chapter! I'm super excited about this fic, things are about to start getting juicy.

The water is calm, pleasant. It’s soothing. Rey floats on her back, the way Kylo taught her, and looks up at the bright sun overhead. It warms her, both inside and out. They’ve come to Naboo, to visit the house Kylo found for them. It’s the first time she’s been here, Kylo has spent the day proudly showing her the grounds. It’s paradise. Somewhere, the war still rages but here there is only peace. Green fields, blue water, lush forests. She floats naked in their private lake, hair loose, her pregnant belly out in front of her. In just a couple of months, they’ll have their first baby. In many ways, it still doesn't feel real. Kylo is so excited, Rey has let him choose their little girl’s name. They are going to call her Padme, after his royal grandmother. Rey likes the way it sounds, both feminine and strong all at once. A name for a princess. She and Kylo are making a family, a real family. Their daughter will know this place as a home, their children will swim in this lake, run through these meadows. They’ll have the childhood she could have only dreamed of. 

Rey looks over to where Kylo sits on shore, his calligraphy set spread out on a blanket in front of him. He sees Rey watching him and waves, smiling that beautiful, rare smile of his. This time alone together is precious, they have so little of it these days. Back on their ship, there is a war to fight, troops to command, a government to get established. There is a palace on Exegol to finish. Kylo is supposed to be leaving on a mission with his knights in two days. She doesn't want to waste a single second. Flipping around, she puts her feet onto the sandy bottom of the lake and stands up. Kylo hears the splashing and calls out to her. “Everything alright, sweetheart?” 

Rey beams. The term of endearment is still new. She’s never had a pet name before. Another first with Kylo. “I’m just getting a bit lonely out here,” she answers, her voice dripping innocence. “Out here, all lonely, and naked, and wet.” She stands up a bit taller, allowing her breasts to be seen above the waterline. She plays with a lock of her hair. “If only there was someone to keep me company out here.” She smiles, evilly. “I’d be very, very grateful to anyone who could give me a hand.”

Kylo doesn't need to be told twice. He drops his pen and stands up, yanking the black sweater he wears off over his head. His trousers come next, followed by his undershorts. Rey ogles at him and makes no attempt to hide it. Maybe someday she’ll be used to her husband’s beauty but that day seems far off. Kylo is perfection, a god. She’s always thought so, even when she couldn’t admit it. He wades into the water and swims over, reaching her in a matter of seconds. Kylo scoops her into his arms and Rey squeals, delighted. She wraps her legs around his waist and leans in, expecting him to kiss her. Instead, her lips meet air. She looks up, confused. Kylo has frozen, he stares off into the distance. “Kylo?” she whispers. “Darling, what’s wrong?” He doesn't answer. Then, quick as a flash, he’s pushed her down into the water. Rey thinks for a moment that it’s some terrible joke, until she tries to get back up. Kylo holds her there, his strong hands in a vice like grip around her face. Rey thrashes against him, to no avail. She tries to summon the Force but it doesn’t heed her call. She’s helpless. She screams, letting out a long string of bubbles and filling her lungs with water. Black spots appear in her vision, she’s going to die here. Just as she begins to lose consciousness, a voice fills her head. It’s not Kylo, it’s someone, something else. It’s a voice she’s heard once before, months ago, on Exegol. Her grandfather.

“You thought you could keep me out?” he booms. “Foolish child. I cannot be beaten. I cannot be betrayed.” Rey tries to push against him, one last time, but finds she doesn't have the strength. “You’re mine,” Palpatine continues. “And your children are mine.”

Rey awoke with a start, to find herself laying on a strange beach. The confusion from her dream cleared and she remembered the crash. How had she managed to survive? A fall from that height should have killed her. Her first clear thought was for her baby, not the one she carried in her vision, Padme but her third child, her still unnamed daughter. Expecting the worst, she reached down and placed her hand over the bump, searching for her child’s life force. To her surprise and utter relief, she found the glowing warmth of her daughter undimmed. The baby was frightened, confused, but unharmed. Rey breathed a sigh of relief. She certainly wasn’t unscathed, however. Her head ached, the pain in her chest was agonizing. Her leg was worst of all and, looking down at it, she nearly vomited. It was twisted beneath her, bent at the wrong angle. A bad break. Kriff. This certainly wasn’t going according to plan. 

She knew she’d have to swallow her pride and call Kylo. He’d come pick her up, tease her a bit, probably about the mess she’d gotten into without him. He had warned her not to go, after all. But he wouldn’t really be angry. He’d kiss her once he got her on board ship, take her back to Exegol for some healing. Then he’d take his knights and go after Dameron himself. Everything would be fine. Rey took a deep breath, then reached out, expecting to come in contact with her husband across their bond. “I’m in trouble,” she thought at him. “My ship crashed and I’m hurt. The baby is alright but I need you to come get me. You were right, this was a stupid idea.” She waited. Nothing. No response. She tried again. And again. Nothing.

“You won’t be able to talk to him,” a voice said suddenly. Rey turned her head at the sound. She gasped, completely unprepared to see her old friend Finn Dameron walking toward her.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things go about as well as you would expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor, injured Rey. Let me know what you think!

Rey just lay there for a moment, shocked into immobility. She’d been searching for Dameron this entire time, only for Leia Organa to bring her to the exact planet where he was hiding? Leia Organa, who had been fighting tooth and nail to bring she and Kylo back to the light? Why would she do that? Why would she bring Rey directly to the leader of her precious Resistance, the man she had sworn to destroy? It didn’t make any sense. 

And what about Kylo? Why couldn’t she reach him? Why couldn’t she sense him, tug on the bond between them the way she always could? For that matter, why had Leia flown her through a storm like that in the first place? Rey doubted that the great general cared much for her, the woman that had defiled her little boy, but surly she cared about her grandchild? The baby Rey carried could have been killed, the very thought gave her chills. Rey honestly didn’t know how either of them had survived. 

“I caught you,” Dameron spoke, as though he were answering her thoughts. “Well, I slowed you down,” he amended. “As best as I could.”

Rey struggled to sit up, only to immediately be over come with dizziness. “Hey,” Dameron said gently. “Try and keep still. You fell really hard.” He began to approach her, as if he intended to help her. As if they were still old friends. 

“Scum!” Rey spat, her head still spinning. Dameron actually looked surprised, as though he weren’t expecting a fight. What an idiot. “You know why I’m here,” Rey said coldly, trying to keep her composure despite the pain she was in. “Did you really think you could escape from us so easily?”

To her intense annoyance, Finn grinned like the entire situation was one big joke. “Really, Rey?” he asked. “Are you really in a position to do this right now?” He laughed aloud, sounding a bit unhinged. No wonder the Resistance is in shambles, Rey thought. One of their generals was a complete mad man. “And I know you didn’t find me here yourself, General Organa dropped you off.” He took a deep breath, probably trying to stop his laughter. “It wasn’t doing...this when she left,” he said, gesturing to the mess of clouds up above. “I doubt she meant to throw you on the beach like that.”  
“How did you know Organa brought me here?” Rey snapped. 

Finn shrugged. “She brought me here too. Guided me here after she helped me get away from you and that delightful husband of yours on Exegol.”

At the mention of Kylo, Rey remembered her mission. She was here to kill the past, not to ask questions. Kylo was depending on her, she couldn’t let him down. “You were a fool to save me,” she told Finn Dameron. “And you will die for it.” 

Finn looked down at her and smiled again. Rey couldn’t help but be a bit embarrassed. She knew she hardly looked threatening, laying all battered and broken in the sand. But that wouldn’t stop her. “Something funny, traitor?” she asked. 

“It’s just that,” Finn trailed off. He gestured to Rey’s crumpled form. “What exactly are you going to do?” He walked over and knelt down beside her. “You see that storm?” he asked, pointing up. “Nothing is getting through that and it’s only getting worse. No ships, no transmitters, I’d bet not even one of your fancy force calls.” Rey flinched. Finn noticed. “Yeah,” he confirmed with a nod. “I’ve tried everything to break through. You already tried to call your emperor, didn’t you?” he asked. Rey didn’t answer, refusing to give him the satisfaction. “I can’t feel anyone out there either. I don't know what's going on but we’re stuck here, together. Until whatever that storm is clears.” He reached over, as though he intended to take her hand. Rey snatched it away, the way she always had in the past. 

“Fuck you,” she hissed. 

“I’m sorry, Palpatine,” Finn said. “But we’re stuck here together. And you’re hurt, badly. You need me.” 

Rey glared at her old friend, nothing but hatred in her heart. How dare he mock her like this? How dare he be so forward, talking to her and holding her hand as if they were still buddies on the resistance base? How dare he save her life? Fuck him, fuck all of this! She’d come here on a mission, nothing could get in the way of that. Hurt as she was, Rey felt the darkness flow through her. It was comforting, almost like a loving embrace. “You asked for this, rebel scum,” she growled, overcome by the glorious sensation of power. She held up her hand and lurched forward, force pushing Finn Dameron across the beach, into a tree, where he crumpled into a heap. “Still want to save me?” she called out, grinning wickedly. Rey didn’t have long to gloat, however. Almost as soon as she spoke, the dizziness returned and she passed out again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love dark reylo, even if mine is probably more of a dimmed lights reylo. Mean, cranky Rey is so fun to write.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn looks back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our first Finn chapter! I'm not going to lie, this one was hard to write. His perspective never quite comes naturally to me. Hopefully you enjoy it anyway! Let me know what you think in the comments.

Finn sat on the beach, his legs drawn up to his chin. He starred out at the churning waves, unsure of what to do next. Rey lay beside him, still unconscious. That was probably for the best. Finn didn’t know what would happen when she awoke, he had no idea what do to or say. Whoever this angry, destructive creature was, she wasn’t his old friend. She wasn’t the Rey with the infectious smile, the sweet laugh. This wasn’t the Rey who gulped down every meal as though it might be her last. The women he’d met on the beach today could never care for anyone the way his Rey had cared for her friends. Her hateful, leering face wasn’t the one he’d seen crinkled up in concentration as she repaired a broken down speeder. No, this wasn’t they Rey he had known. Then again, had he ever really known her at all? He glanced down at the injured woman beside him. Sure, he’d always thought of Rey as his best friend. He’d told her everything, once upon a time. He had trusted her, depended on her. She had been like a sister to him. But then, she’d joined Kylo Ren and Finn realized maybe things hadn’t been what they appeared. Looking back on it, he came to see that their friendship had been thoroughly one sided from the very beginning. Rey had never confided in him, never let him see the less flattering sides of herself. She’d never let him in. He’d held her up on a pedestal and she’d let him. She had struggled in the dark and he hadn’t known a thing.

He’d thought of nothing but getting her back, at first. After the Battle of Exegol was lost, he’d cried in Poe’s arms and vowed to save Rey from Kylo Ren’s clutches. “I don’t know what he’s done,” he’d wept. “But he has her under some type of spell.” He’d sobbed louder. Poe had remained quiet, just held him closer and stroked his hair. “She would never do this,” Finn had insisted. The day flashed through his mind again, all the death and carnage. So many souls lost. Ren had destroyed them all. He refused to believe that Rey had anything to do with it, despite the fact that he’d seen her destroying their ships with his own eyes. When she’d used lightening on Pasaana, she’d been horrified. On Exegol, she’d been smiling.“She’s good, she’s selfless,” he bawled. “She’d never hurt any of us. He did this, it was all him!” He buried his face in Poe’s lap again.

“Finn,” Poe said softly. 

“We have to get her back,” Finn had continued, sitting up and wiping his eyes. “We have to save her.”

Poe reached out and put a gentle hand of Finn’s shoulder. “Finn,” he said again. “I don’t think this was Ren’s fault.”

Finn jumped back, as though he’d been hit. “What?”

“I think this was Rey’s choice,” Poe continued, speaking quietly. “There is no one to blame here but her.”

“What do you know?” Finn had snapped. “You never liked her anyway. You’re probably happy she’s gone.”

“That’s not fair,” Poe replied. “Yeah, we argued here and there about stupid things, ships and droids. This is completely different.” 

“I know Rey,” Finn insisted, trying not to cry again. “She’s a good person. She would never have done those...horrible things that she did today.”

“Maybe you didn’t know her as well as you thought you did,” Poe said, gently. “I’m sorry Finn but what did we really know about the woman?” He’d gone in for another embrace, which Finn had angrily shrugged off. He’d stormed away, angrier than he had ever been. However, he had been forced to contemplate Poe’s words. Soon after Exegol, they heard the news about the new ruler of the Final Order. Rey Palpatine was now Empress, with Kylo Ren as her consort. Their sources told them that Rey controlled everything, made all the decisions. She planned strategy, built weapons, sat of the throne. She sent her forces after them, hunting for the Resistance relentlessly. Everything seemed lost. 

But Finn had never given up hope, not really. He’d continued on as co-general with Poe, who he eventually married. Despite the terrible odds, they’d continued to wage war, their tiny band of fighters acting as a thorn in the new empire’s side. He’d trained himself in the Force, studying the texts Rey had left behind. And, secretly, Finn always held out hope that Rey would return. That is, until the day he’d been captured by his old friend's forces and brought to her palace, brought to his planned execution. He’d been beaten, completely incapacitated. Rey, his Rey, planned to kill him. And she would have succeeded if not for the intervention of General Organa. The spirit of the old general had freed him, put him on a ship, led him here. Led him directly to Rey, apparently. What was the point of all this? The general had whispered to him, begging him to help but what could he do? Talk to her? Rey didn’t exactly seem ready to have a conversation. Still, he’d promised to try. General Organa had saved his life. He owed her this much. He would help Rey, no matter what it took.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I continue the story (I probably will regardless)?


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey wakes up, Finn gets a suprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the support after my last chapter, it really means a lot. I really love this story, so I'm going to keep on going with it until the end! Next chapter, we'll be catching back up with Kylo and the kids. What do you think they'll be up to?

Finn didn’t have long to contemplate his situation. Rey had begun to stir, showing signs of coming to. Before he had much time to react, she’d opened her eyes. Despite his determination to help, Finn jumped back. He’d underestimated Rey earlier, he wouldn’t make that mistake again. Her leg may have been broken but that didn’t mean his old friend wasn’t capable of throwing him across the beach again. He hadn’t been seriously injured before but this time? Who knew what might happen? Finn wasn’t exactly eager to find out. He hung back, waiting for Rey to make the first move. She lay still for a moment, only her eyes moved, scanning the area as though she were trying to remember where she was. Suddenly, things seemed to click into focus. “Don’t look at me like that!” she snapped. Her voice was weak, gravelly, but still commanding. This Rey was used to being obeyed. Finn struggled to respond, unsure of how best to handle this incredibly strange situation. 

“Look at you how?” he finally managed to ask. It was better than saying nothing at all. 

“Looking at me like I’m a wounded animal,” Empress Palpatine snarled, sounding very much like an animal indeed. “Like I’m a wounded animal caught in a trap. Afraid I’ll bite your hand off if you approach me?” 

“Afraid I’ll get thrown into a tree again,” Finn answered, unable to stop himself. “It wasn’t much fun last time.”

Rey was quiet for a moment as she struggled to sit back up. After trying a few times, she seemed to give up. She lay down on the wet sand, looking thoroughly exhausted. Despite everything, Finn couldn’t help but feel a bit sorry for her. “What would be the point of that?” Rey finally breathed. “I couldn’t finish the job.” She tried to move again and winced, grasping her side. Finn suspected she had broken ribs, in addition to her broken leg. And whatever was wrong with her head. How in the hell was he supposed to help her? Rey stopped moving and closed her eyes. Thinking she’d passed out again, Finn sat down next to her, intending to look over her injuries. To his surprise, Rey opened her eyes again. She seemed to have made a decision. She looked up at him, her expression desperate. “Please don’t kill me,” she whispered. 

Finn was stunned. He had no plans to kill Rey, of course, but he hadn’t expected her to beg. She’d always been such a fighter, no matter the odds. “Why not?” he asked. What reason could Empress Palpatine, ruler of the Final Order, have for giving up?

Rey sighed. “Because I’m pregnant.” With shaking hands, she pulled back on the tattered cloak she wore to reveal her swollen abdomen. To say Finn was stunned would have been a massive understatement. He thought he might faint. Or vomit. Or both. “I know the Resistance isn’t exactly above taking innocent lives but I...” she trailed off, running her hand along her bump. “I need her to live. I just do.” Her eyes began to tear up. “Please,” she whispered again. 

Finn didn’t know what to say. Rey was pregnant, he couldn’t exactly deny it. Not when the evidence, her round belly, was right in front of him. That itself was enough to shock him beyond belief. It also complicated their situation. Now there was even more at stake. But it was more than that. Rey was, presumably, pregnant by Kylo Ren. He was her husband, after all. Finn knew that, he’d known that for years now. Since the very beginning of all this. Rey was empress and Kylo Ren was her consort, her co-ruler. But it was one thing to hear about it, another to see the proof of such a union beneath his old friend’s tunic. 

Rey continued to look at him, clearly expecting him to respond. Or kill her. “I’m not going to kill you,” Finn assured her, quietly. “I never wanted to.” He needed to take control of the situation, that much was obvious. Rey needed medical attention, fast. “I’m going to move you,” he told her. “I made camp up the beach a little ways. Is that alright?” 

Rey nodded, looking completely defeated. “I don’t have much choice,” she replied. “Do I?”


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo and Poe come to an agreement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter really took it out of me, hopefully it was worth it! Thank you all so very much for your support on this little story of mine. It means the world to me.

Kylo sat on the overstuffed chair in the corner of the room, running his hands through his hair. For the millionth time that day, he wondered what the actual fuck he was doing. Maz had brought he and the children to her little apartment above the cantina, where they could remain out of the sight of the bar’s patrons. “I doubt anyone will recognize you,” she’d told him. “But best to be safe. Even if they don’t know who you are, they’re bound to notice a brooding mountain of a man like you. Not to mention the little ones. Children aren’t often seen around here.” He couldn’t exactly argue with that one. The Pirate Queen didn’t often play host to families. Padme and Jacen seemed more comfortable upstairs anyway. Exhausted by the day and their bellies full of Maz’s cooking, they had curled up together on the soft rug in the center of the living room and fallen asleep. Meanwhile, their father was on the verge of a complete meltdown. 

Once the kids had settled in, Maz had gone into the other room to call Poe Dameron. She was speaking with him now. Kylo could hear her hushed tones, though he couldn’t quite make out what she was saying. Any moment now, she’d call him in to talk, to convince Dameron to work with him. What could he possibly say? He’d known Poe as a child, competed with him for his mother’s affection. The cocky fly boy, the wannabe Han Solo. Leia Organa’s lapdog. How he’d hated him, how badly he’d wanted him dead. If Finn was the thorn in Rey’s side, his husband was Kylo’s. And now, here he was, trying to make an alliance. How had he ended up here? This couldn’t be real. Teaming up with Poe Dameron would mean throwing his life away, everything he and Rey had worked for. And his wife would never be able to forgive him for it. Rey would hate him and she’d be right to. Even if he managed to find her, he’d certainly lose her. Fuck! What was he doing?

“Solo?” Maz Kanata’s voice brought him back to reality. She poked her head in from the other room. “Come on. He’s willing to have a conversation.” Kylo stood up, slowly. This was the right thing to do. Love and hate couldn’t continue to coexist. He needed to protect his family. He needed to protect the galaxy. He walked over, quietly so he wouldn’t wake the children.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” he whispered to Maz. “There’s too much...history between us. He’ll never agree to work with me.”

“Just be civil,” Maz whispered back. “You both want the same thing.”

“Are you coming in with me?” Kylo asked, hating how frightened he sounded. 

“I think it’s best I wait out here,” Maz said, kindly. “The two of you should talk alone.”

Kylo nodded, agreeing reluctantly. He took a deep breath, and walked into the room.

Poe’s image projected out over a small table in the center of the room. He sat, waiting, his face tense. Then, he caught sight of Kylo. “Ren,” he said, the title escaping his lips. He looked awkward, embarrassed. Unsure of himself. Kylo could hardly believe it. Had he manged to shake Poe Dameron’s abundant confidence? “I, um, Maz said you came to her. To her place.” Poe cleared his throat. “You left your palace.” 

Kylo stood in front of his childhood rival, suddenly feeling less afraid than before. Dameron seemed just as uncomfortable and frightened as he was. “Yes,” he replied with a small nod. “I did. I defected.” Saying the words made it more real, Kylo felt stronger, more decisive. He could do this. “I want to propose an alliance.” 

Poe furrowed his brow, he seemed surprised by Kylo’s audacity. “Why would we agree to that?”

Kylo was ready for that question. “Because there’s a bigger threat out there, a bigger darkness.”

“Worse than you and your wife?” Dameron spit out the word wife, like it was poison. There was personal hurt behind it. Rey’s betrayal had wounded him, deeply. “I doubt that.”

Kylo looked away, counting to ten and trying to let the moment pass. He couldn’t afford to lose his temper, not now. Luckily, he was used to reigning his emotions in by now. Rey needed him to help keep her calm. “Much worse,” he finally replied. “Beyond your wildest imaginings.” He fixed his gaze on Poe. “You’ve heard his name before.”

Dameron seemed to know what he meant. “Palpatine,” he whispered. He looked exhausted, a man worn out by a lifetime of battles. Kylo thought about the Poe Dameron he’d known in his youth, the swaggering, carefree pilot. Ready for anything, thinking of life as some grand adventure. From what Rey had told him, he saw the war the same way. One big adventure. A chance for glory. Maybe that had been true, once. But the long years had certainly taken their toll. 

We’ve both changed, Kylo thought. We’re getting old. “Yes,” he told Dameron. “Palpatine. He took possession of my wife, briefly , during the Battle of Exegol. We managed to push him out together, but he’s never really gone away. His spirit lingers, influencing and controlling. He’s never going to stop. The darkness will continue to spread.”

“Isn’t that what you want?” Poe asked, his confusion obvious.  
Kylo shook his head. “Once, maybe. But not now. Certainly not like this. Palpatine is a poison, he won’t stop until he’s infected everything and everyone.” He swallowed, took a breath. “Starting with my family. With Rey.” He gave Dameron a meaningful look. “She’s missing, Poe.”

Dameron was clearly shocked. “Missing?” he repeated. “How long?”

“She left a few days ago, to find your husband. I haven’t heard from her since. And I can’t feel her.” Kylo stayed quiet for a moment, letting things sink in. 

“Finn?” Poe asked quietly. “She left to find Finn?”

“I know you haven’t heard from him in weeks,” Kylo continued. “Our forces captured him. We...we had planned to execute him,” he revealed reluctantly. 

“Execute him?” Dameron hollered, jumping up. 

“But he escaped,” Kylo continued, trying to keep things calm. “He fled. Rey pursued him. Then I lost her. And you haven’t heard from your husband either.”

“Excuse me if I don’t cry over your missing dark queen,” Poe interjected.

“What I’m saying,” Kylo pushed on. “Is that there’s something going on here. I can feel it. And I think we need to work together to figure it out.”

“You do, do you?” Poe asked, but there was less malice in his voice. “Again, why would I ever agree to that?”

“What choice do you have?” Kylo asked. “Your husband is missing. You’re losing the war, badly. Soon you’ll have Palpatine to deal with. You need me.”

Poe was quiet, thinking things over. “Maz says you can be trusted. And you must be desperate to run off the way you did. I don’t like this but,” he trailed off. “But you’re right. I need Finn back. And I can’t keep fighting this war on my own.” He shook his head. “I can’t believe I’m about to say this.”

“Believe me, I understand,” Kylo told him, cracking a small smile. To his surprise, Dameron actually smiled back.

“I’m going to send someone to pick you up, bring you to our base.” He shook his head again. “I must be crazy. But I’m not crazy enough to send you our coordinates.”

Kylo nodded. “Understandable. But I need you to promise me something, Poe.”

Dameron frowned. “I can’t promise I won’t kill you, Ren.”

“Again, understandable,” Kylo replied. “But that’s not it.” He took a deep breath. “I have my children with me. I need your word that they won’t be harmed. No matter what else might happen.”

Poe’s eyes widened. He didn’t speak for a moment. “Children?” he finally managed. “Your children?”  
“Yes,” Kylo said. “My daughter and my son. I need you to swear to me that they won’t be hurt.”

Recovering from his shock, Poe nodded. “You have my word.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think down below, I'm a slut for comments!


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Rey and Finn awkward reunion train continues full speed ahead.

Rey of Jakku had been a proud creature. A little girl forced into adulthood, she’d grown up with no one to rely on but herself. If she failed to scavenge enough to trade for portions, she didn’t eat. If she failed to find water, she didn’t drink. There was no one there to love her, so she went without. Jakku’s starving inhabitants were only one lost portion away from death themselves, they had nothing to share with a scrawny orphan. Charity simply did not exist. Plutt only kept people who proved to be useful, to fall short was to die. These lessons had stayed with Rey, even as she left the desert planet behind. As a member of the Resistance, Rey had worked hard, determined to prove herself. She’d put on a brave, smiling face. She’d made friends, on the surface at least. But she’d never opened up, never allowed herself the opportunity to be hurt. She would never owe anyone anything. Rey Palpatine was a bit different. She knew how to love, to be loved. She’d opened herself up, become a wife and a mother. But in many ways, she’d remained the same and it served her well in her new role. An empress needed to be aloof, removed. Difficult to read, proud, dignified. Absolutely none of those words described Rey in her current situation. Being carried awkwardly across the sandy beach by Finn Dameron, she was gaining a new appreciation for the word mortified. 

The mission couldn’t have possibly gone worse. Dameron should have been dead, for one thing. She should be on her way home, back to her kids. Back to her incredibly sexy husband. With Finn finally taken care of for good, what a celebration they would have had! She had Kylo had discussed holding a ball. Rey’d had designs drawn up for her gown, cut roomy to conceal her belly. Kylo would have held her, danced with her, kissed her neck while no one was looking. Instead, here she was. In agonizing pain, cut off from her husband, held in the arms of her most hated enemy. She’d never in her life been so embarrassed.

“Holding up alright?” Finn asked, glancing down at her. Rey would have loved nothing more than to tear his head from his body. Sadly, though, that wasn’t an option. Finn was kind, compassionate to a fault. It had always been his greatest weakness. Despite all that had happened over the last five years, he was willing to help her. And Rey knew she needed him. She let out a breath, thinking about her baby. It wasn’t just her life on the line here. She had to be nice, at least until he healed her. After that, well...she’d be looking for an opportunity to finish him off.

“My head is bad, I’m dizzy,” she told him and it was true. She was trying not to blackout the way she had before.“And my leg.” She lay a hand over her bump, feeling for her daughter again. By some miracle, the little light was still there. Finn noticed the gesture, she felt him tense.

“How far along are you?” he asked.

“About eight months now,” Rey answered, sullenly. She wasn’t exactly eager to discuss her pregnancy with the leader of the Resistance. “The baby is fine for now but I’m still worried.” 

“I have a med pack back at my camp,” Finn told her. “I should be able to heal some of your wounds, do something about that leg. But honestly I don’t know if I can do anything to help with your...condition. Hopefully everything stays put.” He shifted Rey’s weight in his arms, jostling her leg. She cried out in pain, angry to feel tears starting to form in her eyes. The world spun, she fought to stay conscious. 

“Are we almost there?” she managed to ask. Her vision was beginning to fade.

“Just a few more minutes, Rey,” Finn said, sounding anxious. “Hold on.” Rey bristled, hating the sound of her first name on his lips. 

“Don’t call me that,” she spluttered. She felt woozy, the way she did after several glasses of wine.

Finn grunted, clearly worn out by the long walk with a pregnant woman in his arms. “Call you what?” he asked. “Your name?”

Rey felt her eyes begin to drift shut. “I don’t like it,” she whispered. Fuck, she’s so sleepy.“We aren’t friends.”

“No, no,” Finn sais, desperation creeping into his voice. “Stay awake, Rey. Talk to me.”

“Don’t want to,” Rey mumbled. 

“Do it anyway,” Finn ordered her. “Tell me all about your evil plans. You came here to kill me, right? What were you going to do after that?”

“Celebrate,” Rey muttered.

“Lovely.” Finn was practically running now, struggling a bit with her dead weight. “Stay with me. Celebrate how?”

Rey tried hard to focus. “A big party. Fireworks. A feast. Make a big announcement.” She finally gave in and closed her eyes. 

“Yeah,” Finn said. “Great propaganda material right there. But you’ve got to stay awake.” Rey felt herself being gently lowered on to the sand. She heard footsteps as Finn ran off, then again as he returned. After a moment, she felt him place something cool on her head and some of her pain and fogginess immediately began to vanish. “There’s some bacta,” Finn whispered gently. “Just lay still.” Feeling more herself, Rey slowly opened her eyes. “There she is,” Finn cried, relief evident in his voice. Relief that the empress of the Final Order, his sworn enemy, was still alive. He really was a fool.

“I feel better already,” Rey told him. “Almost normal.”However, as she tried to sit up, she discovered that wasn’t exactly the case. The dizziness returned and she fell back down.

“I said hold still, Palpatine,” Finn ordered. He was rifling through his medpack, looking for something. Angry at being ordered around, Rey was about to make a snide remark, only to be interrupted. Finn held out a protein bar. “Here, take it,” he urged. 

“Why share your food with me?” Rey asked, still not taking the bar. “You can’t have much.”

“I don’t,” Finn agreed. “But we’re in this together now, right? And besides, you’re, you know.” He gestured toward her belly. “Aren’t you supposed to eat, like every five minutes?”

“Not quite that often,” Rey replied. But she reached out and accepted the ration, taking a bite. She hadn’t eaten since that morning and she WAS supposed to be eating more frequently. Her doctor was concerned about her small size. 

“You’re welcome,” Finn told her, thought she hadn’t thanked him. Rey could have slapped him, he was so incredibly smug about giving her aide. She couldn’t wait to drive her saber through his heart. At that thought, she nearly choked on her food. Where was her saber? She felt for it, in its usual place at her side but her fingers only found the fabric of her leggings. No weapon. She must have lost it during her fall. Now what was she going to do? 

However, Rey didn’t have long to think about this new complication. As she tried to sit up again, she found herself nearly doubling over in pain. Not from her head or her leg but her abdomen. A great cramping pain tore through her, leaving her breathless. Rey knew this pain, she’d experienced in many times before. A contraction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be a stranger, leave me a comment!


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little Rey flashback for you. Next time we'll be back to Finn's perspective, then we'll check back in with our boy Kylo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Dark Rey incoming.

Rey sat, propped up against a tree, watching Finn work on building a fire. He’d put the last of his bacta on her broken ribs, bandaged her leg to the best of his ability. Rey had decided not to tell him about the contractions, at least not yet. She was breathing deeply to get herself through the pain. The contractions were coming erratically, tightening her lower belly. They were painful, certainly, but not unbearable. Probably false labor. She hoped that was the case at least. The thought of having to give birth here, away from any medical facility, with only General Dameron to help, was enough to make her feel like breaking down. Her due date wasn’t for a little over a month, would the baby even survive if she were to be born here? Rey could hardly stand to think of that. The idea of losing one of her children was completely unbearable. Padme, Jacen, this new baby, they were her life. And what about Kylo? She would never be able to face him again. Though it pained her to admit it, Kylo probably loved the children than she did. He was a better parent than she could ever hope to be. Rey loved the kids, of course. She tried, she comforted them when they cried, played with them, got up with them at night. But there was always something holding her back, some darkness clouding her heart that prevented her from being completely there with them. 

Kylo loved the kids with a deep, selfless devotion that Rey could never quite match. There was always a part of her that, no matter how hard she tried to squash the feelings, was aware that the children worked to her advantage. Rey had always feared abandonment, loneliness. No matter how much someone might claim to love you, they could always leave. Kylo claimed to be devoted to her, to the dark side, but she’d seen the light in his heart. He would have left, eventually, the way everyone did. But leave his children, the children she’d given him? Never. Kylo, no matter how the light might call to him, wasn’t going anywhere. It was terrible, Rey tried not to dwell on those thoughts for long. She wanted to love the kids the way her husband did, giving and never asking for anything in return but she just couldn’t do it. And there was more to her complicated emotions than even that. Sometimes, she found her thoughts growing… very dark around the children.

The kids were useful now, they served her, earned their place. They kept Kylo around, made her happy, gave her a feeling of purpose and contentment. But what about the future? What about when they grew up? What would they be then? Padme and Jacen were both strong in the Force. Someday, they might take over, seize power away from her. In her very darkest moments, Rey knew that she couldn’t let that happen. She’d think about ending them, killing them before they could kill her. Rey fought these thoughts, they disgusted her. But Palpatine preyed on them, used them to make her paranoid and weak. And then he’d take control, jumping into her body to carry out the deed. He’d done it twice, once while she was pregnant with Padme, once just after Jacen was born. Kylo had been able to pull her back, calm her down. She’d never gone through with anything. But that had been enough for her husband. 

She’d smiled at Kylo in bed one night, when Jacen was a year old, and moved to straddle him. She’d leaned forward to softly kiss his neck. Kylo had moaned in approval until she murmured “I had my implant removed today.” He’d pulled back, his eyes wide. 

“Rey,” he’d whispered. “We didn’t talk about that.” This had come as a shock to Rey. Since that day on Exegol, when they’d finally decided to be together, Kylo rarely disagreed with her. If ever. They’d spent so long fighting, so long being apart, that they were reluctant to argue. They were a united front, a team. Rey had starred at him for a minute before climbing off his lap to lay beside him in bed. She looked up at the ceiling.

“You don’t want another baby?” she’d finally asked, not looking at him. “I just, I assumed you would. Because I do.” They always wanted the same thing. They were one. “We said we wanted at least four.”

“I do,” Kylo said. He sat up and sighed, running his fingers through his hair, they way he always did when he was stressed. “It’s just that,” he trailed off. “Look at me, Rey,” he said, with so much authority that Rey obeyed. She turned onto her side to look at her husband. “I want another baby, you know I do. But I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Why?” Rey asked him. He loved being a father. She didn’t understand. 

“Remember that night, with Jacen?” Kylo looked ashamed, as though he hated to even bring it up. “With the pillow?”

Rey felt herself fill with shame. She’d let her dark impulses get the better of her that night. She’d let her grandfather in. She’d nearly killed her baby. But it hadn’t really been her fault, had it? And Kylo had stopped her. No harm done. Right? “I remember,” she told him. “As if I could forget.”

“Do you really think we should bring another child into this?” he’d asked quietly.

Rey sat up. Much to her surprise, she felt herself beginning to tear up. “Into what?” she asked. “This family? What’s wrong with our family? Aren’t you happy?”

“It’s not about me, Rey.” He pulled her close to him, putting an arm around her. She shrugged him off. “I love you so much,” he insisted. “And I love our kids. I know you do too. But I can’t just forget what happened. Palpatine is after the kids. What if we can’t protect them?”

“We can,” Rey cried. She stood up and begain to pace the room. “We have. It’s only happened a couple of times!” She threw her arms up in frustration. 

“It only takes once, Rey.” Kylo replied, quietly. “I’m sorry.” He’d reached out to pull her back into bed. Rey allowed herself to fall into his arms. “We didn’t have time to think about this the first two times, they weren’t planned. I just don’t want to make the wrong choice.” He gathered her into a hug.

“I can keep him out. I can,” Rey said into her husband’s neck. She pulled away. “How about a deal?” she tried. “We wait another year. If I can keep him out all that time, we’ll try again.”

“Rey,” Kylo had grumbled. He thought for a moment. “Alright. One year. No slip ups. None. Then we’ll at least talk about it again. Deal?”

Rey had nodded. It was the best she was going to get. “Deal.”

And now here she was, pregnant with their third baby, on a mission Kylo had begged her not to go on. Both she and the baby at risk. He loved her, cared about her and all she ever did was lie and manipulate. She didn’t deserve him. It was her fault. She just hoped that Kylo could forgive her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave a comment, I'm thirsty!


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, last chapter I said we were getting a Finn POV but I missed Kylo. Sorry! We'll be back to our regularly scheduled programming next time. Sorry about the long delay, going back to work after three months has wiped me out!

The bright afternoon sun beat down on the back of Kylo’s neck, adding to the stress and discomfort he was already feeling. He stood in a clearing in the forest, about half a mile from Maz’s castle, waiting for the Resistance ship to come pick him up. The Resistance was sending a ship for him. And he was going to get on it, willingly. He was joining the Resistance. The fucking Resistance. Kylo Ren, Emperor of the Final Order and Master of the Knights of Ren, was going to meet up with traitors and rebel scum. He still couldn’t believe it. 

The children were laughing and playing nearby, engaged in a rather rough round of tag. They seemed to view this strange trip as a grand adventure, some crazy game that their father had concocted to keep them entertained. Kylo had yet to explain the situation to them, though he knew he should. But ever since they’d been born, since he’d first laid eyes on his beautiful babies, he’d wanted nothing more than to protect them, to keep them safe. He wanted them to feel secure, the way he had Rey never had. And his kids trusted him implicitly, they never doubted him for even a moment. Kylo wasn’t sure he deserved their trust. Or their love. 

Kylo certainly wasn’t the father he’d wanted to be. He loved his kids with a passion, sure. More than anything, more than life itself. But, sometimes, being around was... hard. He was always looking to escape. Not to escape the kids or Rey but to escape his life, the life he’d chosen for himself in a moment of weakness. A choice he sometimes found himself bitterly regretting, though he tried his best to hide it. He hated Exegol, hated the oppressive darkness that permeated every inch of space on that horrible planet. Kylo hated meetings, he hated sitting around in conference rooms, planning the destruction of innocent people. He hated sitting on the throne of the Sith, surrounded by people who feared him and many who wished him dead. He hated seeing the way the poisoned environment he’d brought them into was impacting his children, Padme’s nightmares, Jacen’s anxiety. He hated seeing the way it changed Rey. Every day, the woman he loved seemed to fade further and further away, leaving him with a cold, hateful shell. So he locked himself away in his study, working on his translations. He spent long hours meditating, trying to forget. And, most shameful of all, he left every chance he got, taking his knights off to distant worlds to hunt artifacts. To slay legendary monsters. To be anywhere but with his family. Perhaps he was more like Han Solo than he’d thought. Despite the darkness that lived within her, Rey was a better parent than he could ever be. At least she was there for their children. She wasn’t a coward the way he was.

He felt a presence beside him and looked down to see that Maz had walked up. “You’ve made mistakes, Solo,” she told him. “You and your wife both have. But it’s not to late to fix this.”  
Kylo looked over toward his children, watching Padme finally catch up with Jacen. She tackled him to the ground, both laughing joyfully as they fell. He thought about Padme the night before, screaming, crying, tormented by nightmares. “Sometimes I fear I’ve done too much damage already,” he replied.

“It’s never too late,” Maz insisted. “You love them, that much is obvious. And you love Rey. That’s why it pains you so much to do this.”

“I don’t know if she’ll ever forgive me for this,” Kylo whispered. “Even if I manage to find her, I’ll lose her.” 

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Maz said. “The two of you are bound to each other, deeply. The Force, I suspect, wants you to be together. I think where one of you goes, the other will follow eventually.”

Before Kylo could reply, he spotted a ship flying overhead. A familiar ship. A very familiar ship. The Millennium Falcon was approaching. “Fuck,” he muttered. He wasn’t ready for this, not by a long shot.

Maz gave a small, sympathetic smile as the Falcon touched down in front of them. “I’d thought they might send him,” she admitted. “It’s time you two talked.” The ship’s ramp let down and, slowly, Chewbacca came into view.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave me a comment!


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn learns a few things about his old friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, I love these guys. Hope you are all staying well! Next update, we'll be back with our boy Kylo.

Night had fallen over the beach, cloaking everything in darkness. Finn sat next to the fire he’d built, warming his hands over the flames. The day had been hot but after the sun had slipped below the horizon, the air grew chilly. Finn pulled his jacket up around his ears, shivering. He looked over to where Rey lay curled up on the other side of the fire, bandaged up and sound asleep. His force healing skills were laughable but he’d done his best with the supplies in his med kit. Rey’s broken rib looked to be almost fully healed already, the head injury would take more time but it seemed to be improving as well. There hadn’t been enough bacta for her leg but he’d set it as best he could. Unless something changed, Rey would make a full recovery. Which was a good thing, right? Finn couldn’t be so sure. He’d vowed to help Rey but could he? Taking care of her injuries was one thing but what now? Could he really help her change, bring her back to the light? And if by some miracle he managed to do that, how were they going to get off this planet? The storm still raged up above, showing no signs of giving up. The situation was pretty hopeless. 

“You think too loudly,” Rey mumbled from across the fire, apparently not asleep after all.

“Then maybe you should stop listening,” Finn snapped, before he could think better of it. He was trying to win her back, after all. Harsh words probably wouldn’t be much help.

Rey wasn’t phased. “I can’t help it,” she told him, pulling herself up into a sitting position. “Your emotions are all over the place.”

“I forgot how fun it was to have you around,” Finn replied, hoping his smile softened his sarcasm. He looked to Rey, bracing himself for her witty retort. Instead, he saw her double over, one hand embracing her swollen belly. She grimaced, pain clear in her expression. “Are you alright?” he asked, genuinely concerned. He reached over instinctively, wanting to comfort her. Rey batted his hand away. She took a long, shakey breath before she spoke. 

“A contraction,” she hissed, her voice tight. She took another breath, held it for a moment before letting it out. 

Finn’s heart seemed to skip a beat. For a moment, he was as breathless as Rey. “A contraction?” he asked, hoping she couldn’t hear the panic in his voice. “Are you in labor?” He nearly reached for her again but managed to stop himself. He tried to keep his composure. “I have a few things in the med kit, I don’t know much about this but...” he sighed. “We’ll figure this out.”

Rey’s face relaxed. “It passed,” she told him, shifting to a more comfortable position. “They’ve been sporadic, I think it’s false labor.” 

Finn wasn’t convinced. “Are you sure?” he asked.

Rey nodded. “Pretty sure. I always have contractions near the end.”

Finn thought about this explanation for a moment before realizing what Rey had just implied. “Always?” he said quietly. “What do you mean always?”

Rey frowned, apparently realizing she’d said too much. “Never mind.” She looked away.

“No,” Finn insisted. He had to know. “What did you mean?”

Rey turned back to face him, glaring. “I meant what I said,” she grumbled. “That I always have contractions near the end of my pregnancies.”

Finn still didn’t quite understand. “Pregnancies?” he repeated, dumbly. 

Rey ran her hand over her stomach, continuing to stare daggers at Finn while she did so. “This is my third,” she said simply. 

“Third?” Finn said. “Your third?”

Rey rolled her eyes. “You catch on quickly.”

“It’s only been five years,” Finn told her, as if that should have meant something. 

“Your point?” Rey snapped, suddenly defensive.

“That’s just,” Finn’s voice trailed off. “That’s a lot to wrap my head around. You, a mom of three.” Another, upsetting thought crossed his mind. “Are they...all his?”

Rey snorted. “My husband? Yes, he is the father of my children.” 

Finn had a million questions, though he wasn’t sure he wanted answers to all of them. “How old are they?” he asked. “Your kids.”

“That’s hardly your business,” Rey replied, stiffly.

“Humor me,” Finn insisted.

Rey seemed to decide that it wasn’t worth the fight. “Four and three,” she told him. “And then this one here.”

“Four?” Finn asked. “Wow, so that means you...”

“Became pregnant five years ago, right when I took the throne? Yes, Finn.” Her voice was cool. “In fact, I conceived right after the Battle of Exegol. Maybe during.”

Finn shuddered. “Too much information.”

“You started it,” Rey told him.

“I did,” Finn admitted. They were silent for a moment. Then, without really knowing why, Finn began to laugh. 

Rey looked confused. “What’s so funny?” she asked.

Finn shook his head, trying to control himself. “Three kids in five years. Damn.”

“What’s so funny about that?” Rey asked, annoyed. 

Finn struggled to speak. “I just didn’t realize you and Ren were trying to create your own army. Repopulate the Sith with your offspring.” To his surprise, Rey looked a bit hurt.

“It isn’t like that,” she said quietly. “We wanted a family.”

Finn suddenly didn’t feel like laughing anymore. “I’m sorry, Rey.” 

“I never had one, you know.” Rey’s voice was soft. 

“I know,” Finn told her. “I’m happy for you. About the family thing, not the dark empire.” 

Rey snorted again. “Fair enough, I suppose.” They were quiet for a moment. 

“It’s just so crazy,” Finn finally said, breaking the silence.

“What?” Rey asked. For the first time, there was no hostility in her voice.

“You have this whole life I don’t know about. I don’t know you at all, anymore.”

Rey looked at him, sadness in her eyes. “You never did.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave me a nice, juicy comment.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chewie and Ben hug it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge amount of fluff incoming! Next time, we'll rejoin Rey before checking back in with Ben and possibly a new pov character. Huge changes are coming, we're coming into the homestretch!

All the air left Kylo’s lungs, his heart seemed to have stopped. He couldn’t move, couldn’t breath. Chewbacca was here. Chewie. His favorite uncle. His father’s best friend. Hero of the rebellion. They’d once been close, little Ben Solo had loved his Uncle Chewie more than anyone else in the world. It was Chewie who had taught him to shoot straight, to fly with confidence, to play dejarik like a professional. He’d been there for him when his parents argued, he’d cheered him up whenever his father left or his mother’s meetings kept her away from home. When everyone else was too busy or too preoccupied to notice him, Uncle Chewie was there. Until he’d been sent to Luke, Ben Solo had relied on him. Kylo hadn’t seen him since then and hadn’t allowed himself to miss him. Not until that moment, when he saw him exiting the Falcon. The Wookiee stood at the bottom of the ramp, waiting. 

Kylo took a deep breath and walked forward. “Uncle Chewie,” he called, his voice shaky. Chewbacca didn’t say anything. Kylo stood in front of him now, looking up into the familiar face of his uncle, one of the last remaining figures of his old life. “Uncle Chewie, I don’t know what to say,” he whispered. He really didn’t. How could he ever hope to repair things with Chewbacca? He’d betrayed him, murdered his best friend right in front of him. He’d destroyed everything. An apology would never be enough but he had to try. “I’m so sorry,” he said, feeling tears beginning to spill from his eyes. “I got so lost,” he continued. “I regret everything, everything. I’d give anything to take it all back. I know there’s nothing I could ever say to fix things with you and you have every right to hate me forever.” He was crying in earnest now, unable to stop himself. “But I’m here now. I want to make things right.” 

For a moment, nothing happened. Then, much to Kylo’s surprise, he felt himself pulled into a massive, furry hug. He felt the air being squeezed out of his lungs as Chewie squeezed him, lifting him off his feet and holding him close. Kylo buried his face in the Wookiee’s fur, continuing to sob like a child. “Your parents would have been proud of you,” Chewie whispered in Shyriiwook. “Welcome home, Ben.” 

Once, Kylo would have flinched at the sound of his old name but now it sounded sweet. It sounded right. “I have to fix things, Chewie,” he said through his tears. “I have so much to atone for.”

“Time for that later,” Chewbacca replied. He set Ben down gently. “Let’s get you back to base. We have a lot of catching up to do.” 

“I’d say you do,” Maz called out. She was walking toward them, holding a smiling Padme’s hand. Jacen trailed behind them, looking a little unsure. Ben turned to his uncle, grinning through his tears. Before he could speak, Padme ran over and latched onto his leg. 

“Daddy, why are you crying?” she asked.

Chewie’s eyes widened. “Ben,” he started. “Are these your...”

“My kids,” Ben confirmed with a nod. “Uncle Chewie, this is Padme.” He ran his fingers through his daughter’s curls. “And Jacen,” he said, gesturing to the little boy. “Come here, J.” Jacen came over slowly, keeping his eyes down. Ben reached down and lifted his son into his arms, balancing him on his hip. “Kids,” he announced. “This is your Uncle Chewie.”

“Are you really our Uncle?” Padme asked, ever the skeptic. 

“Of course I am,” Chewie told her. 

“Of course he is,” Ben said, translating. “He was my dad’s best friend. Your grandpa.” He smiled at the Wookiee again. “He’s familiy.” 

“But why are you crying?” Padme asked again.

“Because I’m happy,” Ben told her. It was true, his heart hadn't felt so light in years. He had hope again.

Chewie looked at Ben and the children. “I’m happy too,” he said. “So, so very happy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter, this week has been completely wild! I was tested for the corona virus and had to quarantine for a bit. Thankfully my test was negative but the anxiety prevented me from getting much writing done. Anyway, let me know what you think in the comments, everyone stay well!


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey has some feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's some more angst for you, enjoy!

As their conversation died out, Finn drifted off to sleep. Although Rey was exhausted, she couldn’t seem to join him. Her contractions seemed to have let up for the time being but the pain in her leg had yet to fade. Her head ached as well, despite the bacta treatment. Worse than her physical discomfort, however, were her churning emotions. Being with Finn again was hard, much harder than she’d anticipated. She’d thought she’d left her old life behind, moved on into her future as the fearsome empress she was born to be. But apparently, things weren’t so simple. Laying on the beach, injured, trapped, with Finn Dameron asleep just across the fire, she felt just like the frightened little orphan girl she’d been at nineteen. She found herself remembering what it was like to be vulnerable. Even worse, she found herself missing his friendship. It was terrifying. 

Rey ran her hand over her belly as she felt the baby turn within her. At least everything was alright there. “You stay put little one,” she whispered. “No going anywhere until your daddy finds us.” At the thought of Kylo, Rey sighed. She missed him so much, with every fiber of her being. Her husband, her lover, the other half of her soul. They were a team, each one half of a whole. The past five years, they’d been inseparable. After a lifetime of loneliness, they both craved the closeness and belonging that they’d found in one another. Even while Kylo was away with the knights or she’d left on a diplomatic mission, they’d still had the bond. Now, cut off and alone, Rey was lost.

Pushing herself up on her elbows, Rey gazed over at the sleeping Finn. He wasn’t her friend, never really had been. What she’d said to him was true, he’d never really known her. He’d seen in her only what he wanted to see. Had he known the truth of who she really was, he would have turned away. Kylo was different, he’d always been able to see right through to her very soul. He knew everything about her, every inch of her darkness and still he loved her. She had to stay strong for him. He relied on her to keep him on the path of the dark side. No matter how Dameron might make her feel, she couldn’t allow herself to be swayed. “I love you,” she murmured. “Please, please find us.” Of course, there was no answer. Rey lay back down and looked up at the storm raging overhead. “Please,” she said again. “I need you.” It was true. Rey had never been more aware of that fact. Rey loved her throne, her power, but without Kylo, it was all meaningless. She closed her eyes, remembering their first night together, the first night she’d fallen asleep in his arms. They’d lain curled together like spoons, Kylo’s arms wrapped around her, his breath soft on the back of her neck. In that moment, nothing else had mattered. Not their empire, not their power. For them, there was only love.

Rey walks across the sands of Tatooine, the sun bright and hot overhead. She adjusts the scarf she wears around her head, wiping a bead of sweat off her face. She carries a basket under her arm, full of supplies she picked up in town. She smiles as she catches sight of her house. “Mama!” a little voice cries. Jacen comes running out of the little homestead, latching onto her leg. Rey reaches down to ruffle his hair. 

“Were you good for your daddy?” she asks. 

“He was wonderful,” a low voice rumbles. Ben emerges from the house, a dark haired baby cooing in his arms. “This one, however, was a nightmare,” he says with a grin. Rey walks over to him and sets down her basket. She takes her daughter into her arms.

“Now I know that’s not true,” she giggles, nuzzling her baby’s face. “Where’s Padme?”

“Sound asleep,” Ben tells her. “Worn out from making me chase her around all afternoon.” Rey grins. 

“I’m going to start dinner,” she tells him, starting to walk into the house. However, she suddenly finds that she can’t move. She pulls and pulls but her feet won’t move. “I’m stuck!” she cries. “Ben, help me!”

Ben shakes his head. “I’m not Ben,” he says sadly. “Not to you, at least. And you can’t come inside.”

“Why not?” she asked, beginning to cry, desperately. 

“You didn’t want this,” he tells her. He takes the baby from her and grabs Jacen by the hand. They turn away from her and begin to walk into the house, leaving her behind.

“Wait!” Rey was sobbing now. “Ben, please don’t leave me.”

Ben looks over his shoulder. “You’ll be alright,” he says with a shrug. “You have your throne.” 

Suddenly, Rey realizes she’s not in the desert at all. She’s on Exegol, sitting on the throne of the Sith. And she’s alone. 

Rey sat up, gasping, a cold sweat on her forehead. The sun was just beginning to rise. Finn was already awake, eating a protein bar. He looked concerned. “Are you alright?” he asked. 

Unable to contain her emotions, Rey shook her head. “No. No, I’m not.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave me a comment!


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey finally opens up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this story gives me life. We'll catch back up with Ben and the kids next time.

Rey could have smacked herself. What was she thinking, showing vulnerability to Dameron? But once the words were out, she couldn’t exactly take them back. Besides, tears were beginning to gather in her eyes and she wasn’t sure she’d be able hold them back. Finn set down his breakfast and scooted over to kneel beside her. “Rey?” he said, sounding more confused than worried. He was probably surprised to see her break down. She’d always kept her emotions from him, even before their falling out. “What’s wrong?” he asked softly.

Rey wiped away her tears with the back of her hand. “It’s nothing,” she lied, quickly. “It’s the hormones.”

Finn wasn’t convinced. “It’s clearly something,” he insisted. “You told me you weren’t alright when I asked. Not to mention, you’re crying.”

Rey tried and failed to stop crying. A hiccup escaped her mouth. “It’s nothing you’d want to hear about,” she told him. It was the truth. Finn wouldn’t want to listen to her go on about how much she missed Kylo. 

“I asked, didn’t I?” Finn said gently. “I must want to know.”

“No, you don’t,” Rey sniffled. She turned away, looking toward the bright blue water. “Leave me alone.”

“Don’t do that.” Finn sounded irritated. What the fuck was he mad about? 

“Do what?” Rey asked. She turned back around, frowning through her tears. 

“Do that thing you always do. Pull away when all I want to do is help.” Finn gave a long sigh. “You said that I never knew you. I guess that’s true but it’s not my fault. You’ve never let me in. Or anyone, for that matter.” He was quiet for a moment. “Except Ren, I guess.”

“That’s not fair,” Rey snapped. “It’s not that simple.”

“What’s not simple?” Finn asked, exasperated. “We were friends, Rey. I told you everything. Why didn’t you feel like you could talk to me?”

“I didn’t think you’d understand,” Rey said quietly. “You had this...image of me in your head. This perfect jedi girl you’d saved from a junk planet. I could never live up to her. I could never be what you wanted me to be.”

“I believed in you,” Finn told her, the sadness evident in his voice. “Is that so wrong?”

“You didn’t want to know me,” Rey cried. “Not really.” 

“And Ren did?” Finn asked, even angrier now. “What made him so special?”  
Rey wasn’t sure what to say. What she and Kylo had, it couldn’t be put into words. When they’d met, everything had clicked into place. Even when she’d tried to deny it. “He’s,” she started. “He’s my...he doesn't know me,” she finally said. “He is me. He’s my other half, part of my soul. My balance. Kylo just understood. I didn’t have to tell him.”

“You can’t expect that out of everyone,” Finn said, after taking a moment to digest what she’d said. “I did want to know you, Rey. Maybe I did have you on a pedestal and I’m sorry for that. But I would have come around.”

Rey felt as though her chest might burst, her emotions were raging out of control. Everything she’d worked so hard to keep down was bubbling up to the surface. “It’s not easy for me to open up,” she whispered. “My life has been so hard. No one stays. I guess I wanted to stay perfect in your eyes. But I couldn’t.”

Finn met her eyes, looking close to tears himself. “And my life hasn’t been hard?” he asked. “You know where I come from.”

Rey didn’t have a response to that. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “I did the best I could.”

Finn began to cry too, not bothering to wipe away his tears. “I did too. Too bad it wasn’t enough, huh?” He sank down into the sand, laying back on his elbows. 

They were both quiet then, listening to the sound of the waves washing up on shore. “I miss him,” Rey said at last. “That’s what I was upset about. I’m not used to being without him.”

For the first time, Finn didn’t wince at the mention of Kylo. “I miss Poe,” he replied. “We don’t have your whole bond thing but we’ve been side by side for years now. We’re a team. I’m not used to being without him either.”

“Horrible, isn’t it?” Rey asked, stealing a glance at her former friend. “My heart aches.”

“Mine too,” Finn said simply. Then, suddenly, he smiled. “Look at us, opening up. That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben finally comes clean to the kids.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay! I'm back to work and school now, so things have been a bit crazy. Happy to be back though, we'll be back with Rey and Finn next time.

The trip to the base should have been awkward. Instead, it felt like coming home. Flying with Uncle Chewie, sitting in the cockpit of the Falcon, it was like he’d never left. He was like a boy again, excited to be allowed out on a run with his dad. Well, he felt that way until he heard Padme ask a question or Jacen sniffle. That brought him back to reality. They were heading into enemy territory. Just because Uncle Chewie had forgiven him, that didn’t mean that everyone else would feel so generous. Poe Dameron might shoot him on sight. Rey wasn’t here to take care of things, Ben was on his own. He had to stay alert.  
“Daddy,” Padme said, from the table in the back where she and Jacen sat. Ben saw Chewie smile at the sound of her voice. Han Solo’s grandchildren were on board the Falcon. All was right in his galaxy.  
“What is it, baby?” Ben asked her.  
“Are we going to meet more friends?” she asked. “Like Uncle Chewie?”  
Ben hesitated. He’d needed to tell the kids what was going on, had to warn them, before they arrived on base. It was time, he knew what he had to do. But the dread was heavy in his stomach, the shame so intense. He’d betrayed their mother, abandoned everything they’d worked for. And how could he even begin to explain this to children? Still, he had to try. “I’m going to go back and talk to them,” he whispered to Chewie. “I have to tell them the truth.” Chewbacca nodded, understanding.  
“You can do it,” he told him. “Just be honest.” Ben stood up and walked back into the living quarters, to the Dejarik table where his children sat.  
“Daddy? Are we?” Padme asked again as Ben sat down beside her.  
“I hope so,” Ben replied gently. “I need to talk to both of you.” He stopped talking for a moment as Jacen climbed into his lap. The little boy’s face was wet with tears. He always cried during take off. Jacen settled against Ben’s chest, sticking his thumb in his mouth. Ben ruffled his son’s hair before he continued. “I haven’t been honest with you kids,” he said.  
“You aren’t supposed to lie,” Padme cut in. “You and Mama say to always tell the truth.”  
Ben nodded. “That’s right. It was wrong of me to do that. But I was scared.”  
Jacen looked up at Ben, shocked. In the three year old’s mind, his father was infallible, fearless. “You don’t get scared,” he objected.  
Ben planted a kiss on Jacen’s forehead. “I do,” he said. “More than you know. That’s why we left home. This isn’t a vacation.”  
“What is it, then?” Padme asked. “Where are we going?”  
“You’ve heard your mama and I talk about the Resistance, right?” The kids both nodded.  
“They’re bad,” Padme said.  
“Yeah!” Jacen chirped in agreement.  
Ben sighed. This would be harder than he’d thought. “Your mama used to work with them, a long time ago.” The kids gasped. Ben soldiered on. “She had a lot of friends there. She met my mother, your grandmother there. And I was confused back then, I was fighting against them. Against my family.”  
“Against Mama?” Jacen asked, his hazel eyes wide.  
“Yes,” Ben admitted. “But then I fell in love with her. She convinced me to go back with her.” Ben swallowed. He was getting to the difficult part of the story. “But then, something happened. Your mother’s grandfather tricked her into taking over his empire. And I didn’t want to be without her. So I stayed with her. And we had you. We were very happy, in a lot of ways. But we’ve done a lot of bad things to keep our power. We’ve hurt a lot of people. That was very wrong of us, don’t you think?” The children both nodded, slowly.  
“It’s bad to hurt people,” Padme said quietly.  
“I’ve never felt right about the things we did,” Ben told them. “We made a mistake, your mama and I. And I’m trying to make things right.”  
“When you make mistakes, you should try to fix them.” Jacen’s voice was encouraging. “You have to say you’re sorry and try to make things better.”  
“Exactly,” Ben agreed, his heart full of love for his sweet, forgiving kids. Again, he wondered what he’d done to deserve them. “We’re going to see your Mama’s old friends, the Resistance right now. I’m going to ask them to help me fix things.”  
“But what about Mama?” Padme asked. “Won’t she be mad?”  
“Maybe,” Ben admitted. “But it’s the right thing to do.” He took a deep breath, preparing himself for the next bit. “There’s something else, too. You know that Mama and I can see each other, right? Even when we aren’t together?”  
“Yeah,” Padme answered as Jacen nodded. The kids were well aware of their parents’ connection.  
“Well, something has been wrong. I haven’t been able to see or hear her lately. I don’t know where she is or what’s happened.”  
Jacen began to cry again, burying his face in Ben’s shirt. Ben stroked his son’s back, wishing he could break down and cry himself. Padme, however, was more level headed.  
“Will the Resistance help find her?” she asked. “Can they?”  
Ben didn’t want to lie to her again. He couldn’t. He held Jacen close, rocking him softly. “I don’t know,” he confessed. “I hope so. But I want both of you to know, no matter what happened, you’ll have me. I’m here for you. I’ll keep you safe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Toss me a comment, I eat that stuff up!


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Rey and Finn angst continues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnnnd I'm back! Sorry for the long delay, life has gotten crazy and I was having a hard time feeling motivated to write. ButI'm determined to finish this story, my babies (and you guys) deserve it! I'll do my best to get the next update out soon.

Finn’s thoughts were racing, hope and fear fighting for dominance within him. Could it be that Rey was actually starting to come around? Was it possible for her to change? Had Leia Organa been right all along? Finn tried to squash those sparks of hope before they had time to catch fire. He couldn’t get ahead of himself. They’d had one, maybe two conversations without hostility. They were hardly on the road back to friendship and camaraderie. It could be a fluke, a moment of weakness from Rey. Maybe she was manipulating him, hoping to turn the situation around at the first opportunity. Maybe she was playing him for a fool. Maybe he was going to get himself killed. But still, Finn couldn’t help but dream. What if Rey was actually changing? He could have his best friend back. Things could go back to the way they’d been before, better even. They could be honest with each other now, really open up, get to know one another for the first time. Poe would find them, rescue them, take them back to base together. And...then what? Would the other members of the Resistance accept her, allow her to return? And even if they did, what would they do? Rey was about to give birth to Ren’s child, she apparently had two others still with him. Rey had ties to the empire, she’d ruled over it for five years now. And she missed her husband, she’d admitted as much. Would she go back to him, could she really stay away?  
“What are you starring at?” Rey asked from where she sat on the sand. Her voice carried all the arrogance and authority of a queen. She sighed and spoke again, clearly making an effort to soften her voice. “I mean, is something wrong? You look like you’re somewhere else.”  
“I am, I guess,” Finn admitted. “I was just thinking.”  
Rey grimaced. “I know. You’re thinking about bringing me back with you.” Finn didn’t respond, he didn’t have to. Rey nodded. “Ah,” she said. “I knew it.”  
“Stop reading me,” Finn told her but there was no bite to his words. He hesitated for just a moment before deciding on honesty. “I can’t help but think of it,” he said, a bit sheepishly. “We could start over, Rey. Just think of it!”  
“I can’t just start over, Finn.” Rey ran a gentle hand over her belly, maybe without noticing but the gesture was not lost on Finn. “I can’t turn my back on my family,” she continued. “Even if I did want to give up my throne.”  
“I know you love him,” Finn said quietly, hoping Rey could hear the sincerity in his voice. “I understand that, remember? Really, really I do. But are you really willing to stand by him, if he’s in the wrong? Rey, that isn’t what’s right for your family.”  
“Of course I’ll stand by him,” Rey replied, her voice so quiet that Finn could barely hear her. “I’d stand by him through anything.”  
“There has to be a limit,” Finn insisted. He loved Poe more than life itself but he’d never support him when he was in the wrong, when his actions hurt others. They didn’t disagree often but as both spouses and co-generals, they’d had some fights. Finn always kept his integrity. “Love has limits. You can’t give up yourself for someone else.”  
“I’d stand by him through anything,” Rey said again, her voice louder this time. “I owe him that much.”  
Finn was confused. “Owe him?” he asked.  
“Yes,” Rey cried. “I owe him everything. I could never turn away from him, abandon him the way everyone else did. Not after he...” her voice trailed off. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply through her nose for a moment before speaking again. “Not after he stood by me.”  
“Stood by you when?” Finn asked, feeling uneasy. What was she getting at? What other secrets could Rey have?  
“He returned to the light, Finn.” Rey sounded pained, her voice ached with sorrow. Finn wasn’t sure what she meant.  
“What do you mean?” he asked. “Returned how?”  
“He came to the temple that night, all those years ago, and he was changed. He’d finally turned a corner, left the darkness behind. He came to help me defeat Palpatine. But he was...”  
“He was too late,” Finn finished for her. “You’d already turned.” So there it was. Kylo hadn’t seduced Rey to the dark side after all. She’d seduced him.  
Rey nodded. “Now you see,” she told him. “I can’t leave him. He never left me. He stayed in the darkness for me. We made it our home.” She closed her eyes again, breathing deeply and evenly. “I can’t leave him,” she repeated between gasps of air. “I won’t.”  
“Rey?” Finn asked, beginning to notice her strange behavior. “Is something wrong?” Besides the obvious, he added to himself. Rey ignored him.  
“I want to come back with you,” she told him, letting out a breathe she’d been holding. “Or maybe I would. I don't know. If things were different. But I can’t, Finn. Kylo, the kids. I love them too much.”  
Finn sighed. It was clear that he wasn’t going to win here, not now. “Then I guess we’ll have to bring them with us.”


End file.
